Broken But Not Beaten

Written by Sterling Mire

Today, Paulina Porizkova in a rare interview, poured her heart out on CBS’S Sunday News show over the recent loss of her ex husband, front man for the rock group The Cars, Ric Ocasek, coupled with the devastating shock of betrayal having been written out of his final will after 30 years of marriage.

My empathy for what she is currently going through encouraged me to write about my own devastating divorce and betrayal. Watching her interview today conjured up memories of my past “confront and regroup” days where I generously and lovingly give myself space to continue to recover and heal from the unexpected and abrupt divorce that turned my life upside down. I mean, I was blissfully married to the “love of my life”. What I had created in my marriage was perfect and ideal for me. I used to jokingly say that if I had a magic wand throw it away unused – that’s how perfect my marriage was. Up to our very last days together we laughed, sang songs, affectionately and lovingly ended our nights together. So what went “wrong” you may ask.

Although I was thrilled with my married life it doesn’t guarantee my husband would feel the same. He was exceptionally good at hiding his own inner demons. He was struggling with his own personal journey through life. Dissatisfied and desperate for change, he threw everything in his life out, including me, (and I mean everything except a cell phone and computer). In a desperate attempt to bring about the much sought-after change, overwrought with anxiety and confusion, he made a cross country move in an effort to simplify and start fresh. It’s easy for us human beings to lose perspective and sometimes act hastily when we feel it’s our last resort. Although now, with a little breathing space and clear perspective, it now occurs to him that divorce may not have held the answers. But, hindsight is 20/20.

Transitioning from a loss is a process. If we allow ourselves to accept the process, it will be a much easier and smoother ride.

Let it be what it is. I am a firm believer that we must not allow our feelings to dominate our lives, yet we also cannot dismiss them away or distract ourselves with a number of escapisms that are at our fingertips. Taking a day to ourselves to cry, write in a journal, talk to a friend or family member, listen to an inspirational podcast, watch something uplifting or read articles like this one, and my personal favorite: ending the re-alignment day with a Release Letter exercise. The Release Letter exercise is something I created for myself that I share with my clients. The healing and shift it provides powerfully allows for the negative energies to be released. We then are free from the stranglehold it has over our lives and us. It can be used to transform any disempowering relationship that is holding us back from living our version of an ideal life. Whether that relationship is in the form of a person, an experience or even an object, such as finances.

Our lives are made up of relationships and although it may not be obvious at first glance, we have a relationship to everything. The experiences we have and the outcomes we produce are reflective of these relationships that produce our lives. It directly impacts our lives and plays a vital part in what occurs in our lives.

Taking time out to lounge around in bed going wherever our emotions lead us is hardly indulgent in the scheme of things yet it is just that: indulgent, which is beneficial for the healing process.

If we immerse ourselves fully in the process we are confronting fully, purging fully and this allows us to bounce back into our lives and continue living, moving and growing our lives and ourselves forward into the future as we deal with our past.

The healing process is a dance. Three steps forward, two steps back all the while making progress. Progress is the only thing to focus on. If we step back and look at our lives as an observer, the question to ask ourselves is: are we making progress overall? This is the most important question versus asking, “How long this process will take?”. It will take however long it takes and if we are effectively making progress, that is all that matters. And it is perfect, however long that is.

The emotional healing process is much like the physical healing process. Liken it to healing a broken ankle. You may experience steady, albeit slow progress only to awake one morning feeling like you’ve slid back and your ankle feels worse than ever. You have not only feel you’ve stepped back in your progress (no pun intended) but you then experience frustration and confusion over what appears to be a setback. Remembering the three steps forward two steps backward analogy helps to keep things in perspective. It only appears you are going backward because it’s easy to lose sight of that one step that you take forward each time you move two steps back.

Because of the work I do and teach, I thankfully got to bypass a lot of the pain and suffering (and additional healing) that often accompanies loss.

It comes in the form of regrets, questioning ones’ own self worth and doubts about choices made in the past. Those are huge obstacles to overcome and are actually optional. You must not choose to over-burden yourself by being too overly critical. You were probably doing the best you could with what you knew at that time. When we examine our choices and behavior with an objective eye versus judgmental. We can learn from our past experiences. This is a great gift to carry with us into our future!

Showing ourselves some compassion helps us to then focus on the challenge of change when dealing with loss. Although losing something you never wanted to live without is the most challenging, however, even desired change can also come with its own set of challenges due to what I call “the change factor”. Positive change can conjure up fear of moving into uncharted territory and the unfamiliar and unpredictable can be a harrowing experience for many. Yet, if we are equipped with tools for change it can be an exhilarating and inspiring period that lifts and carries us into the future with great anticipation, excitement and security.

My AOM (Art of Manifestation) work also allowed me to see his choice to leave was not a reflection of me. In fact, I was able to see so clearly from the first day of separation that I supported his decision. I could see the pain he was finally revealing to me and wanted him to work out his personal issues the best way he knew how: on his own. I stood by him and was there for him, as a friend. He showed his appreciation by consistently showering me with cards he sent to me ever generous with acknowledgments and love. Yes, love. The love was never absent. We continue to talk almost daily supporting one another as friends. He is my most trusted confidante and I even talk to him about my grieving process, never projecting blame onto him for anything. I know I am responsible for my own happiness and experiences in my life. I know I am cherished and valued deeply by him.

Sterling and Stephen’s wedding day

If it wasn’t for the AOM work we would have parted paralyzed by betrayal, anger, hatred, bitterness, irreconcilable sorrow and certainly void of love.

We often move ahead in life with this “baggage” and rather unconsciously expect the next person to fix our past situation and our broken hearts. However, the next person to take his/her place will never heal our pain for they had nothing to do with the creation of that pain. Actually, not even the person who was the catalyst for our pain can heal us. We are the only ones who can heal our pain because we are the only ones who created it.

Be kind to yourself as you heal. You don’t have to go through this period alone. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. There are tools and steps you can take to not only overcome the struggle of accepting loss but can even allow you to soar to greater heights of living than you’ve ever imagined!

I am now out of the “limbo” phase of coming to terms with my loss and I am now experiencing my created, blooming and inspiring future; which includes my richly reinvented, love-filled relationship with my ex-husband.

I’ve graduated from the frequent rollercoaster of emotions that inherently comes with the early stages of grieving a loss. Now, I keep things in balance and stay in my authentic, empowered place with my morning ritual so I can live fully, courageously, joyously, gratefully and powerfully on a daily basis. This allows me to jump into my day knowing that I am creating magic and miracles, and I absolutely LOVE IT! After all, periodically we do this to our living space, why wouldn’t we do the same with our lives? Setting aside time to “take the trash” out of our lives that we’ve accumulated along the way is a healthy choice to restore peace, clarity, freedom and balance.

As I take a bird’s eye view of the past three healing years to gain a perspective of how I progressed during this transitory period, I am extraordinarily pleased with my life and myself.

I see how I didn’t hold my life hostage and spiral down (as the old me would have) but instead I balanced the healing process with the growth of my life. I wrote my intended book, nurtured and expanded my business, took some illuminating and fun travels, made some new friends along the way and discovered I actually have 20 close friends that really care about me, that I can count on to be there for me if need be. I also discovered how the AOM system had generously transformed my life more than I had ever realized making the biggest loss I had ever encountered an empowering experience through the understanding, clarity and tools it provides.

In time you too can look back at this arduous period with a sense of strength and accomplishment having discovered how strong you really are and knowing that going forward you can transform anything that comes with living this human life.

For more stories and shares about how to transform and heal visit: https://getyourlifenow.com/testimonials/

How To Get What We Want! (Not What We Don’t Want!)

Starry, starry night….Wish upon a star

Written by Sterling Mire

When we are preoccupied with worries about the future, we are actually helping bring those fear-based thoughts into reality.

When we say or think to ourselves what we don’t want versus what we do want, we are breathing life into the very thing we are trying to avoid. It’s been ingrained in us to push, fight and resist against the things we do not desire in order to bring forth that which we do desire. We were actually taught the opposite of what we should be doing to bring the desirable into our lives and keep the undesirable out of our lives. This is why we tend to obsess about what we are trying to avoid.

I always emphasize, when working with clients, that the key to creating and ushering in our heart-felt deep desires is by first allowing, not resisting, what is currently our situation. What we resist persists.

This is one of the essential keys to manifesting.  Without it we will just be spinning our wheels, going nowhere fast. For instance, if we are feeling financially pinched, yet we desire abundance, we must first acknowledge, “what is so” and accept it, without making it bad or wrong. When we are simply able to accept it as the current circumstance, without creating stories around it, we are exercising non-resistance, therefore, we stop the persistence of the situation, in this case it’s scarcity. Now that we have stopped the “growth” of scarcity, we now have a clearing, a space, for creating that which we do want: abundance. Now, abundance has the space to not only be created, but to flourish! 

Can you list some of the things you would like to have or experience in your life that seems to be eluding you? Occurs to be unattainable? Can you identify what you are resisting about that situation? 

Consider this: everything you want wants YOU! There is nothing in this world that is standing in your way. No circumstances, no people, no hindrances, limitations or constraints that you have not created yourself, consciously or unconsciously. If you are the only one blocking you from experiencing your ideal life, then the good news is you are the only one who can change all of that! When we consciously create, we can move mountains in seconds and achieve each and every one of our utmost heart’s desires easily, effortlessly and joyously! Once you’ve tapped into this magical realm you’ll be completely amazed at how life actually works and how so much of what you previously understood was actually backwards.

And, consider that you can have everything your wildest imagination can think up and that you already possess everything you need. All you need now are the tools and know-how to tap into your version of heaven on earth!

Thanking of You!

Taking time out of our busy, modern lives to celebrate giving thanks, in the present moment with the ones we love, feeds and nourishes our soul.

Written by Sterling Mire

Rushing headlong through our lives just to keep up with the rapid movement of time ensures that oftentimes the sacrifice is our very own cherished relationships. Too often we find ourselves hurriedly eating a meal on the run and on our own. Multi-tasking while with others regardless of the situation. Yet, taking the time to prepare a home-cooked meal and share it with beloved friends and/or family not only nourishes our bodies but also feeds our spirits. True companionship fills our heart and creates a healthy mind, body and spirit. When we share a meal with others, it allows us to slow down and be present, in the moment.

The tradition of “breaking bread” with others carries an importance of sharing ones lives with one another in addition to ones food. This creates a bond, a connection that our very lives depend on. We are creatures of society. We were designed to be with one another and to share our lives with one another. Loneliness plays like a disease to the mind, body and soul simply because we were not designed for it, just as we are not designed to starve and survive. Even families today often skip eating meals together in an effort to take care of other life obligations. If we really think about how much of our time and attention we place elsewhere other than towards our relationships, we might just identify where our imbalance lies, or where our sense of dis-ease stems from. Thanksgiving is a holiday that provides us the opportunity to focus on one another without the distractions of everyday life. To appreciate what we have in one another. To cherish the deep, connective bonds that give our lives the meanings we so desire, thus, enriching our experiences of life as a whole. Through these relations, we may even discover what’s been missing all along – the connectedness of our relationships and savoring the passing moments at hand.

Perhaps this Thanksgiving is our chance to focus on how much we truly mean to one another and how we can spend more quality, undivided time together in the unfolding future that fuses with the present.

Finding Purpose in Our Lives

Written by Sterling Mire

Everything happens for a reason in our lives. There is always a purpose.

The road we are on to fulfill our goals and dreams can occur as challenging, confusing and complicated although it need not be. We derail ourselves when we lose faith and lose sight of the bigger picture. Distractions and details obscure our ability to see if we are on the right track or not. Often times we question our abilities to fulfill on something we desire. We wonder what is the purpose of our existence. Why am I here and what is this thing called life?  Where do I fit in? We should move forward trusting that we are exactly where we are suppose to be and find the value with where we currently are. Paying attention to where we are now, instead of worrying about some future event, is where we should be focusing our thoughts. 

 The universe is helping us towards our deepest desires. It listens to our inner commitments, whether they are what we intend or not. In other words, if we want to change jobs but deep down we doubt we are ready for such a change, the universe will honor the doubt we have. It will keep us where we are, where we are really committed to being, which is stuck in the familiar versus change. 

 The first place to start is to examine how ready we are for the changes we so wish to experience. Are we saying to ourselves, “No matter what lies ahead, I am ready to take the plunge and move forward into the world of possibility!”  If we feel that what we desire resonates with us on every level, then we are ready to embrace those thoughts, those dreams and experience them in the physical realm. We must then trust the universe knows and honors our authentic wishes and will help us to bring it into fruition.  The assistance and opportunities will show up when it is time, not when we think it’s time.  The universe knows best when something is to be. In hindsight, when our vision materializes, we will then understand the perfection of timing orchestrated by the universe and not what our logical mind tries contrive.  Usually, we will look back and say to ourselves, “Wow! It makes sense as to why this is the best time for this to happen. I never would’ve figured that out beforehand. The universe really does know better how to fill in the details of, when, what, how it would unfold. I don’t need to worry about figuring all of that out. All I need to do is clarify my wishes and move forward with unwavering faith!” You also discover how simple and easy life is to live and the journey becomes joyous, freeing and fulfilling as things germinate and come into existence.

 Nothing happens without reason. If you are wondering about your purpose in life, simply clarify and embrace the things that resonate with you. Start with anything that is in alignment with what speaks to your heart and soul. If you like being with children, maybe a place to start is to donate your time to a Children’s Hospital or babysit on off nights. Or maybe you are interested in living a more soulfully satisfying life a good place to start may be to read The DailyOm for daily inspirational articles that propel you into the right direction. Taking action to move the energy forward is far more effective than waiting for the “perfect thing” to fall into your lap. The universe helps those who help themselves and generating movements forward will bring new ideas or ideal opportunities to you. The universe wants to assist you and will if you connect with its energy to help guide you by trusting, knowing it is there to guide you. Life’s journey can be a rich and satisfying one with the destination simply a part of the ride and not the most important aspect of living a fulfilling life.

The Power of Humility

Written by Sterling Mire

Practicing the art of humility in our lives allows us access to so many answers to our questions and to the endless gifts others have to share with us. Life is richer, more colorful and experienced in a satisfying way.

Very few people today even know what the word humility means and the value of it. Why is being humble such a powerful and extraordinary way of being? When we are being humble, we are demonstrating quiet confidence. We know we are no better or lesser than anyone else. We know we have access to our own personal power and therefore, do not have anything to prove, because we just know we are.

When we practice being humble, we open ourselves up to the world and allow ourselves to grow and learn things that serve our evolution. Our greatest leaders in the world practice humility: Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Albert Einstein, Mother Theresa, Abraham Lincoln, Jesus Christ, Stephen Hawking, just to name a few. Being humble opens up a world of possibilities that other wise could never be. It also keeps life itself a fascinating, curious, awe-inspiring adventure. We are also given the gift of connectedness with our fellow human beings – a very fulfilling experience! Humble people know the value of everything that exists in the world. They can observe life and appreciate everything about it.

Humble people are strong, charismatic and powerful.  They have access to providing solutions towards the betterment of the outer world, and in turn, bettering their own inner world.  When we are practicing being humble, we shift from being driven by the limitations of the ego and are able to soar limitlessly through the higher wisdom that lies within all of us.  We are free. We are able to create our existence without constraints or restrictions. We are at the helm of directing our lives to anywhere we desire.

Humility is a balance between being worthy and yet seeing the worth in everyone and everything in life.

Dark Places We Find Ourselves In

                                                                                                                                 Written by Sterling Mire

                                                                                       Sometimes it’s the darkness that leads us to our brightest light.

We often just want to go to where we envision our lives to be. We dream, have goals, we create plans and we want to experience it now. We desire happiness, health and success! When life leads us to places we don’t want to go we often interpret it to mean something’s wrong or we’ve made a mistake somehow. The truth is life is doing us a favor by presenting us a breakdown to overcome so we are better equipped for life’s breakthroughs. Difficulties are a sign that we need to wake up and work on something that needs our attention.

Often we need to “hit rock bottom” in order to soar. When we surrender to the process of working out a breakdown we are taking the first step into transformation. It allows us to realize there is something within the domain of what we don’t know we don’t know that creates the humbleness that moves us to discovering something new and necessary for our evolution and growth. Incomplete past experiences that have restricted our world and enslaved us in negativity is what there is to pay attention to. What mental conversations are going on in our mental chatter? These are the clues to what needs to be transformed, what we need to re-construct. Everything can be interpreted either positively or negatively. What are we going to choose? To find the good in what was disappointing and find the lessons we are to learn sets us free. 

As with Dorothy in the “Wizard of Oz” we are all on a gold-bricked road that can suddenly turn dark. It’s when we remember that there is no City of Oz that will provide the answers. It is within ourselves that we recognize we are whole and complete, here and now and all answers to whatever we are looking for is within us. It is here we find the courage, inspiration and perfection that exists everywhere.

Having a mentor or coach is wonderful way to provide guidance and assist us with what we are working on and help identify what we sometimes can not see for ourselves.

For more information about coaching visit: www.getyourlifenow.com

Embracing Differences Makes a Difference

Written by: Sterling Mire

Accepting how people are different from ourselves can benefit us and heal the world as a whole more than we realize.

We are all unique. We’ve been raised by different people, with different siblings and friends, sometimes even in different countries with different cultures and within different generations. Yet, we all have the same basic wants and needs. These differences don’t have to result in disconnect or friction in our experiences of one another.

Each of us is the result of a completely individual miraculous design. We all have different talents, skills, points of view, ideas, perceptions and experiences to share with the world creating a contribution unique unto us and providing something different from others contributions. Human beings want the same things in life yet may go about it differently. We all want love, security, acceptance, and to make a difference in the world we live in. We are all moving in the same direction yet coming from and going about it in different ways.

We are here to learn from our choices and the consequences of making those choices unconsciously or consciously. Granting each other grace, forgiveness, love and support along our journeys in life help us to grow for the betterment of the world. Having a level of compassion when interacting with others helps others to grow in a way that serves the planet in a constructive versus destructive way.

No one likes to be criticized or ostracized by others. When we give up judging or criticizing others taking into account that we don’t know what it is to live their lives or what they may be challenged with at that moment not only helps others but helps ourselves too by creating space for positive growth. Accepting differences allows us to unite with one another, forge a bond and gives access to cooperation towards the fulfillment of peace, love and happiness.

Sometimes people can frustrate us especially when it is someone we are close to and care about. Maybe we see them being self-sabotaging or being destructive and suffering needlessly. If we can accept that what is happening is part of their learning process, their journey, individual to their independent life path we actually create room for transforming the situation for the better versus resisting and fighting the situation by making it wrong. What also helps is stepping outside of our own world and moving into others lives bringing with us the intention to understand and accept “what is” so we create a space for transformation.

Ultimately, we are all experiencing the result of the choices we’ve made in life. In other words, the consequences of what we consciously or unconsciously choose give way to the experiences we have. All human beings truly want is to feel good, even if they are not sure how to do that. Choices and consequences are great guides to helping us learn our way. Everyone learns differently and in different time frames. Respecting those differences help move the human race as a whole to a place of peace, love, fulfillment, and unity.

What Did I Do?

By Sterling Mire

Many times what people say or do to us has nothing to do with us at all.

Have you ever had the experience where what someone does or says doesn’t seem to jibe with what is actually going on? Yet, we take their behavior personally and make it mean something disempowering about us leaving us confused, hurt and disappointed. It’s helpful to remember: people are more connected to their past experiences versus the experiences they would like to have in their future.  That past can be what just happened 5 minutes prior or as far back as childhood. Taking things personally without taking a moment to think about where they could be coming from takes us off path.

We also have to be responsible for what we do and say. Could what we said or did provoke a particular response? If our intentions are benign but misunderstood, then we can apologize and clarify what we mean to the other person. If they refuse to forgive and hear the value in what we are trying to convey then we can walk away feeling satisfied with the responsibility and the action we took to remedy the situation. We can also see that there is something that person is personally dealing with that may have absolutely nothing to do with us but what they are struggling with in their own life. Be compassionate and loving and move on. We are all dealing with something in life. We are all evolving and being given the opportunity to grow and growth comes from our relationships. If this is a relationship that we are committed to, then we take move on by taking responsibility of our communications and distinguish if there is anything else we can do to help. Sometimes just being clear in our communications is all there is for us to do. We need to just give the other person some space to be with the situation and gain the understanding and clarity within themselves.

When you shift your attention to the bigger picture you may then notice that there was nothing you did that was inappropriate and can choose to not take it personally leaving you free of feeling attacked or blaming yourself for something that didn’t have anything to do with you. It’s up to you to retain your self-worth while knowing you are taking responsibility for your words and actions. This is the best way to live an empowered and satisfying life!

Contributing to the Bigger Picture - Breakdown to Breakthrough

Written by: Sterling Mire

Being of service to others allows us to step outside of our own struggles which can bring answers and pathways to overcome challenges in our own life.

When things aren’t going the way we’d like them to our first instinct is to run and hide, preferably to the nearest dark hole we can find and escape. Sometimes we choose to obsessively think about the problems that face us until we can’t see straight. Yes, there are times when we need to get off the merry-go-round of life and just stop to catch our breath, clear the air, and deal with issues at hand. Other times our best course of action is to be of service to others. Giving ourselves to others not only helps us to gain distance from our own problems but allows us to transform others lives for the better. This creates empowerment and confidence within our world which contributes to finding solutions to our own conflicts. There are two basic human needs being fulfilled: making a difference in the world and being accepted. As a bonus, we also create a connection and bond with others that allows us to feel stronger and more powerful in life.

Helping others creates evidence that we are one and not alone in our quest for support and enlightenment. Even in our darkest hours we can still
contribute to someone else’s struggles and not only make the difference for others but for ourselves as well. It’s a win-win situation and we get to transform who we know ourselves to be.

Make an effort next time you find yourself in a breakdown and fully give of yourself to someone else in need. Notice what happens, what opens up. Notice how your view and perception of life is altered and how you begin to move in a much better direction in your own life.

“We rise by lifting others.”

AVOID…AVOID…AVOID…

When we summon up the courage that lives within us and confront the things we want to avoid we then have access to breakthroughs and growth that otherwise would have been impossible.

We’ve all had the experience of taking on something we dread only to discover a sense of accomplishment and empowerment on the other side of completion. We uncover the confidence and strength that was lying dormant within us. We awaken our true spirit and part of the reason we are here. It’s a wonderful opportunity to learn that what we fear is actually nothing to fear at all. Instead we feel free, enlivened and renewed.

If we chose to put something off or avoid it because it scares us or causes us to feel stopped inside it may be because we think that it will cause something to change that we are not ready to experience. This is a false illusion and the way we know this is by the obstacles in life that show up when we choose avoidance. We are off-track but unclear as to why. The fear that stops us is why. The acronym for fear is False Experience Appearing Real. We actually feel lighter and relieved when we complete something we didn’t want to. Alternatively, if we choose to remain in our comfort zone we will take ourselves off our synchronistic path connected to the source of all creation and our lives won’t work as we intend or desire.

In this moment, there is at least one thing we have in our lives that is currently left undone. Making that task top priority and completing before all else (or as soon as possible) will liberate us, invigorate us, and re-create who we identify ourselves to be. We will unleash incredible energy within our lives that will fuel us for our future with confidence!

Author: Sterling Mire

Time Out For YOU!

Sometimes we just need time to ourselves to regain a balanced sense of ourselves before continuing on our journey called life.

Most of us feel a little imbalanced from time to time. Times of high stress, living in the big city, can make us feel like we are out of whack. We take care so many people, places, things, work and general life obligations we forget about taking care of ourselves. We’ve been taught taking time out is a luxury versus a necessity although science has proven that if we take more time out to just be we would not only be more productive and effective in life but less stressed. We have to draw a line and say “enough is enough”, stop the merry-go-round of life and get off for a while to reflect, let go, rediscover ourselves, and revive ourselves for our future.

I have found a good way of getting in touch with what I truly need at the moment is I imagine having a magic genie in a bottle and that genie asks, “If you could do or be anywhere on this day what or where would it be?”. Maybe the answer that shows up  is laying on the sands of a Caribbean beach, receiving a massage, taking a hike in nature, unplugging for the day and reading a book in a quiet and beautiful place, driving to a place you’ve yet to discover. Let’s say if the answer is the Caribbean but you are living in Los Angeles and you only have a day to yourself then take yourself to the Pacific ocean, perhaps to a stretch of beach you haven’t been to before. If a full-body massage doesn’t fit your budget how about an affordable foot spa or the local nail salon where they offer chair massages? The point is to expand yourself and get in touch with what is missing in your life right now. Balance is key to optimal health.

Ever visited Europe, such as Italy, or any other exotic destination? Have you noticed people seem less stressed? It’s because they are. They work to live, not live to work. Even if you live in the U.S.A. you can still adopt a more European life-style right here, right now.  Your happiness, health, quality of living and productivity depends on it! Create a consistency to taking time out for yourself. Imagine taking 1 very special day a week to yourself or a 2-3 day weekend vacation once a month. You can do it on a budget if need be. Out of 31 days in the month, taking 3-5 days for just yourself is very little and will not negatively alter taking care of business on the other days.

The truth is, taking care of ourselves is not actually a luxury, it is a necessity especially if we want to be our best for our work, our lives and others. I hope you’ve gained perspective from my share. Start now. Plan time in your schedule for yourself as soon as possible. If you are crazy busy at the moment, even more reason to do it now versus later.

Questions? Call for a free consultation.

Do People Really Make Us Happy?

It appears that people can make us feel a range of emotions; happy, sad, angry, frustrated, euphoric, disappointed, depressed and the list goes on. The truth is this is an illusion. We live in a society that has convinced us that happiness lies outside of us, within our environment and through the things we accumulate. Here is a perfect example of how we have learned this way of understanding life’s happiness. A mother sees her young child crying. The mother enthusiastically offers the child a cookie. The child then seeing his/her mother smiling (happy) makes the association with the cookie as an object that possesses happiness. We could take it a bit further and look at how the cookie has an effect on the child’s brain reinforcing the idea of where happiness lies. Let’s look at the effect of the sugar in the cookie. Sugar is known to light up the reward pathways and cause a surge of feel-good hormones, like dopamine, to be released. As a result, we feel good and “happy”. The child easily confuses the cookie, or any other thing the child learns to associate with happiness, as where happiness lies.

People’s Energy DOES Have an Effect On Us

True. We are all energy. We transmit energy. We receive energy. Yet, energy changes all the time so if someone’s happy and we feel the effects of it we begin to associate thatthat is where happiness lies. We begin to confuse, once again, where happiness lives. “That person makes me happy!” or “That person makes me upset”. It may not be that we consciously want to blame or hold someone accountable for our state of being. It could be that we simply are confused as to where happiness truly is.

Taking Responsibility

Taking responsibility for how we feel is one of the most valuable lessons we can learn in life. Choosing how we feel is a conscious action. We must be fully aware to make this choice. Noticing how we feel is the first step. To choose how we want to feel in a way that is authentic and actually works is to first allow what is so to be. To simply allow it to exist. Allowing is not agreeing. Allowing is allowing. Once we allow what is, then we can make a conscious choice to choose how we want to feel. Once you choose an empowering emotion, take a moment to connect to what that feels like. Experience it fully. Maybe think of a happy memory and relive it. Embrace the feeling and let it wash over you and sink in. Then proceed with your life. It is quite simple but where people go wrong in choosing their emotions is leaving out the acceptance, allowing something to be as it is. What is surprising is that whatever undesirable emotion was being experienced will simply take care of itself and disappear.

True Happiness

Happiness is our birthright. Happiness is a skill. Like all skills, it must be practiced. When you have true happiness within, you are totally fulfilled and the things you engage in are not perceived as a pathway to lead you to happiness but an adventure you can embrace fearlessly with joy and out of the sheer excitement of being alive!

To discover more about happiness, I recommend a current documentary on NetFlix simply titled: “Happiness”. Filmmaker Roko Belic travels to more than a dozen countries, searching for the meaning of happiness.

Sterling is a celebrated professional life coach and a nationally published author. She works with clients all over the world. Her practice is located in Beverly Hills. For more information, please visit: www.intuitivelifebysterling.com www.getyourlifenow.com