How To Get What We Want! (Not What We Don’t Want!)

Starry, starry night….Wish upon a star

Written by Sterling Mire

When we are preoccupied with worries about the future, we are actually helping bring those fear-based thoughts into reality.

When we say or think to ourselves what we don’t want versus what we do want, we are breathing life into the very thing we are trying to avoid. It’s been ingrained in us to push, fight and resist against the things we do not desire in order to bring forth that which we do desire. We were actually taught the opposite of what we should be doing to bring the desirable into our lives and keep the undesirable out of our lives. This is why we tend to obsess about what we are trying to avoid.

I always emphasize, when working with clients, that the key to creating and ushering in our heart-felt deep desires is by first allowing, not resisting, what is currently our situation. What we resist persists.

This is one of the essential keys to manifesting.  Without it we will just be spinning our wheels, going nowhere fast. For instance, if we are feeling financially pinched, yet we desire abundance, we must first acknowledge, “what is so” and accept it, without making it bad or wrong. When we are simply able to accept it as the current circumstance, without creating stories around it, we are exercising non-resistance, therefore, we stop the persistence of the situation, in this case it’s scarcity. Now that we have stopped the “growth” of scarcity, we now have a clearing, a space, for creating that which we do want: abundance. Now, abundance has the space to not only be created, but to flourish! 

Can you list some of the things you would like to have or experience in your life that seems to be eluding you? Occurs to be unattainable? Can you identify what you are resisting about that situation? 

Consider this: everything you want wants YOU! There is nothing in this world that is standing in your way. No circumstances, no people, no hindrances, limitations or constraints that you have not created yourself, consciously or unconsciously. If you are the only one blocking you from experiencing your ideal life, then the good news is you are the only one who can change all of that! When we consciously create, we can move mountains in seconds and achieve each and every one of our utmost heart’s desires easily, effortlessly and joyously! Once you’ve tapped into this magical realm you’ll be completely amazed at how life actually works and how so much of what you previously understood was actually backwards.

And, consider that you can have everything your wildest imagination can think up and that you already possess everything you need. All you need now are the tools and know-how to tap into your version of heaven on earth!

Finding Purpose in Our Lives

Written by Sterling Mire

Everything happens for a reason in our lives. There is always a purpose.

The road we are on to fulfill our goals and dreams can occur as challenging, confusing and complicated although it need not be. We derail ourselves when we lose faith and lose sight of the bigger picture. Distractions and details obscure our ability to see if we are on the right track or not. Often times we question our abilities to fulfill on something we desire. We wonder what is the purpose of our existence. Why am I here and what is this thing called life?  Where do I fit in? We should move forward trusting that we are exactly where we are suppose to be and find the value with where we currently are. Paying attention to where we are now, instead of worrying about some future event, is where we should be focusing our thoughts. 

 The universe is helping us towards our deepest desires. It listens to our inner commitments, whether they are what we intend or not. In other words, if we want to change jobs but deep down we doubt we are ready for such a change, the universe will honor the doubt we have. It will keep us where we are, where we are really committed to being, which is stuck in the familiar versus change. 

 The first place to start is to examine how ready we are for the changes we so wish to experience. Are we saying to ourselves, “No matter what lies ahead, I am ready to take the plunge and move forward into the world of possibility!”  If we feel that what we desire resonates with us on every level, then we are ready to embrace those thoughts, those dreams and experience them in the physical realm. We must then trust the universe knows and honors our authentic wishes and will help us to bring it into fruition.  The assistance and opportunities will show up when it is time, not when we think it’s time.  The universe knows best when something is to be. In hindsight, when our vision materializes, we will then understand the perfection of timing orchestrated by the universe and not what our logical mind tries contrive.  Usually, we will look back and say to ourselves, “Wow! It makes sense as to why this is the best time for this to happen. I never would’ve figured that out beforehand. The universe really does know better how to fill in the details of, when, what, how it would unfold. I don’t need to worry about figuring all of that out. All I need to do is clarify my wishes and move forward with unwavering faith!” You also discover how simple and easy life is to live and the journey becomes joyous, freeing and fulfilling as things germinate and come into existence.

 Nothing happens without reason. If you are wondering about your purpose in life, simply clarify and embrace the things that resonate with you. Start with anything that is in alignment with what speaks to your heart and soul. If you like being with children, maybe a place to start is to donate your time to a Children’s Hospital or babysit on off nights. Or maybe you are interested in living a more soulfully satisfying life a good place to start may be to read The DailyOm for daily inspirational articles that propel you into the right direction. Taking action to move the energy forward is far more effective than waiting for the “perfect thing” to fall into your lap. The universe helps those who help themselves and generating movements forward will bring new ideas or ideal opportunities to you. The universe wants to assist you and will if you connect with its energy to help guide you by trusting, knowing it is there to guide you. Life’s journey can be a rich and satisfying one with the destination simply a part of the ride and not the most important aspect of living a fulfilling life.

The Power of Humility

Written by Sterling Mire

Practicing the art of humility in our lives allows us access to so many answers to our questions and to the endless gifts others have to share with us. Life is richer, more colorful and experienced in a satisfying way.

Very few people today even know what the word humility means and the value of it. Why is being humble such a powerful and extraordinary way of being? When we are being humble, we are demonstrating quiet confidence. We know we are no better or lesser than anyone else. We know we have access to our own personal power and therefore, do not have anything to prove, because we just know we are.

When we practice being humble, we open ourselves up to the world and allow ourselves to grow and learn things that serve our evolution. Our greatest leaders in the world practice humility: Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Albert Einstein, Mother Theresa, Abraham Lincoln, Jesus Christ, Stephen Hawking, just to name a few. Being humble opens up a world of possibilities that other wise could never be. It also keeps life itself a fascinating, curious, awe-inspiring adventure. We are also given the gift of connectedness with our fellow human beings – a very fulfilling experience! Humble people know the value of everything that exists in the world. They can observe life and appreciate everything about it.

Humble people are strong, charismatic and powerful.  They have access to providing solutions towards the betterment of the outer world, and in turn, bettering their own inner world.  When we are practicing being humble, we shift from being driven by the limitations of the ego and are able to soar limitlessly through the higher wisdom that lies within all of us.  We are free. We are able to create our existence without constraints or restrictions. We are at the helm of directing our lives to anywhere we desire.

Humility is a balance between being worthy and yet seeing the worth in everyone and everything in life.

Dark Places We Find Ourselves In

                                                                                                                                 Written by Sterling Mire

                                                                                       Sometimes it’s the darkness that leads us to our brightest light.

We often just want to go to where we envision our lives to be. We dream, have goals, we create plans and we want to experience it now. We desire happiness, health and success! When life leads us to places we don’t want to go we often interpret it to mean something’s wrong or we’ve made a mistake somehow. The truth is life is doing us a favor by presenting us a breakdown to overcome so we are better equipped for life’s breakthroughs. Difficulties are a sign that we need to wake up and work on something that needs our attention.

Often we need to “hit rock bottom” in order to soar. When we surrender to the process of working out a breakdown we are taking the first step into transformation. It allows us to realize there is something within the domain of what we don’t know we don’t know that creates the humbleness that moves us to discovering something new and necessary for our evolution and growth. Incomplete past experiences that have restricted our world and enslaved us in negativity is what there is to pay attention to. What mental conversations are going on in our mental chatter? These are the clues to what needs to be transformed, what we need to re-construct. Everything can be interpreted either positively or negatively. What are we going to choose? To find the good in what was disappointing and find the lessons we are to learn sets us free. 

As with Dorothy in the “Wizard of Oz” we are all on a gold-bricked road that can suddenly turn dark. It’s when we remember that there is no City of Oz that will provide the answers. It is within ourselves that we recognize we are whole and complete, here and now and all answers to whatever we are looking for is within us. It is here we find the courage, inspiration and perfection that exists everywhere.

Having a mentor or coach is wonderful way to provide guidance and assist us with what we are working on and help identify what we sometimes can not see for ourselves.

For more information about coaching visit: www.getyourlifenow.com

Acceptance vs. Agreement

                  Knowing the difference makes ALL the difference.

“Some of our greatest successes come from unconditional acceptance of all aspects of life.” ~Sterling Mire

My clients often ask me, “How can I possibly accept something if I don’t like or agree with it?” My answer is simple: Avoid resistance. I’ll explain. The reason why avoiding resistance is the solution to the problem is because what we resist will persist. If we resist what is so in this particular moment we will be giving energy to that which we would like to change. We feed the beast. Stop feeding the beast and that beast will disappear.

I am a fan of Eckhart Tolle. In his bestselling book, “The Power of Now”, he describes acceptance as this. Imagine you fell into quicksand. Your first instinct is to resist it by flailing your arms wildly to get out. The only thing you achieve by resisting is frustration, panic and exhaustion so you end up sinking. If you just accept what is so, “Ok, I just fell into quicksand. I accept that. It is what is so.”, this frees you up to begin to create a way out – and you do! Acceptance is not agreement. I must stress this. Accepting is acknowledging and allowing something to just be. Once we have done just that, then we can began to move into a solution driven direction with ease. Answers to our questions are free to come to us – physically and mentally. We are an open channel for guidance.

Life is fluid. It can occur as if what is happening to us in the moment is permanent. We are stuck and we begin to get resigned in life. If we remind ourselves that it just appears that way BUT is actually is not the truth, it is a step in the right direction for finding the change we seek.

Life is also unpredictable. If we can accept that as part of the beauty in life then we can create the ability to embrace what ever comes along, even if it is painful.

Life will bring many challenges, such as the loss of someone we love, and it is truly challenging to embrace “what is so” when we are suffering. Yet, if we start cultivating acceptance in our lives right now, we will cope with future crises in an empowered way finding the positivity in the situation. It really is a powerfully effective way to live. Begin today to just BE with what is so. Notice how life is different and notice how you respond to undesirable things as they show up and how insignificant and manageable they become. You will be amazed!

WRITTEN BY: STERLING MIRE

Embracing Differences Makes a Difference

Written by: Sterling Mire

Accepting how people are different from ourselves can benefit us and heal the world as a whole more than we realize.

We are all unique. We’ve been raised by different people, with different siblings and friends, sometimes even in different countries with different cultures and within different generations. Yet, we all have the same basic wants and needs. These differences don’t have to result in disconnect or friction in our experiences of one another.

Each of us is the result of a completely individual miraculous design. We all have different talents, skills, points of view, ideas, perceptions and experiences to share with the world creating a contribution unique unto us and providing something different from others contributions. Human beings want the same things in life yet may go about it differently. We all want love, security, acceptance, and to make a difference in the world we live in. We are all moving in the same direction yet coming from and going about it in different ways.

We are here to learn from our choices and the consequences of making those choices unconsciously or consciously. Granting each other grace, forgiveness, love and support along our journeys in life help us to grow for the betterment of the world. Having a level of compassion when interacting with others helps others to grow in a way that serves the planet in a constructive versus destructive way.

No one likes to be criticized or ostracized by others. When we give up judging or criticizing others taking into account that we don’t know what it is to live their lives or what they may be challenged with at that moment not only helps others but helps ourselves too by creating space for positive growth. Accepting differences allows us to unite with one another, forge a bond and gives access to cooperation towards the fulfillment of peace, love and happiness.

Sometimes people can frustrate us especially when it is someone we are close to and care about. Maybe we see them being self-sabotaging or being destructive and suffering needlessly. If we can accept that what is happening is part of their learning process, their journey, individual to their independent life path we actually create room for transforming the situation for the better versus resisting and fighting the situation by making it wrong. What also helps is stepping outside of our own world and moving into others lives bringing with us the intention to understand and accept “what is” so we create a space for transformation.

Ultimately, we are all experiencing the result of the choices we’ve made in life. In other words, the consequences of what we consciously or unconsciously choose give way to the experiences we have. All human beings truly want is to feel good, even if they are not sure how to do that. Choices and consequences are great guides to helping us learn our way. Everyone learns differently and in different time frames. Respecting those differences help move the human race as a whole to a place of peace, love, fulfillment, and unity.

Contributing to the Bigger Picture - Breakdown to Breakthrough

Written by: Sterling Mire

Being of service to others allows us to step outside of our own struggles which can bring answers and pathways to overcome challenges in our own life.

When things aren’t going the way we’d like them to our first instinct is to run and hide, preferably to the nearest dark hole we can find and escape. Sometimes we choose to obsessively think about the problems that face us until we can’t see straight. Yes, there are times when we need to get off the merry-go-round of life and just stop to catch our breath, clear the air, and deal with issues at hand. Other times our best course of action is to be of service to others. Giving ourselves to others not only helps us to gain distance from our own problems but allows us to transform others lives for the better. This creates empowerment and confidence within our world which contributes to finding solutions to our own conflicts. There are two basic human needs being fulfilled: making a difference in the world and being accepted. As a bonus, we also create a connection and bond with others that allows us to feel stronger and more powerful in life.

Helping others creates evidence that we are one and not alone in our quest for support and enlightenment. Even in our darkest hours we can still
contribute to someone else’s struggles and not only make the difference for others but for ourselves as well. It’s a win-win situation and we get to transform who we know ourselves to be.

Make an effort next time you find yourself in a breakdown and fully give of yourself to someone else in need. Notice what happens, what opens up. Notice how your view and perception of life is altered and how you begin to move in a much better direction in your own life.

“We rise by lifting others.”

Time Out For YOU!

Sometimes we just need time to ourselves to regain a balanced sense of ourselves before continuing on our journey called life.

Most of us feel a little imbalanced from time to time. Times of high stress, living in the big city, can make us feel like we are out of whack. We take care so many people, places, things, work and general life obligations we forget about taking care of ourselves. We’ve been taught taking time out is a luxury versus a necessity although science has proven that if we take more time out to just be we would not only be more productive and effective in life but less stressed. We have to draw a line and say “enough is enough”, stop the merry-go-round of life and get off for a while to reflect, let go, rediscover ourselves, and revive ourselves for our future.

I have found a good way of getting in touch with what I truly need at the moment is I imagine having a magic genie in a bottle and that genie asks, “If you could do or be anywhere on this day what or where would it be?”. Maybe the answer that shows up  is laying on the sands of a Caribbean beach, receiving a massage, taking a hike in nature, unplugging for the day and reading a book in a quiet and beautiful place, driving to a place you’ve yet to discover. Let’s say if the answer is the Caribbean but you are living in Los Angeles and you only have a day to yourself then take yourself to the Pacific ocean, perhaps to a stretch of beach you haven’t been to before. If a full-body massage doesn’t fit your budget how about an affordable foot spa or the local nail salon where they offer chair massages? The point is to expand yourself and get in touch with what is missing in your life right now. Balance is key to optimal health.

Ever visited Europe, such as Italy, or any other exotic destination? Have you noticed people seem less stressed? It’s because they are. They work to live, not live to work. Even if you live in the U.S.A. you can still adopt a more European life-style right here, right now.  Your happiness, health, quality of living and productivity depends on it! Create a consistency to taking time out for yourself. Imagine taking 1 very special day a week to yourself or a 2-3 day weekend vacation once a month. You can do it on a budget if need be. Out of 31 days in the month, taking 3-5 days for just yourself is very little and will not negatively alter taking care of business on the other days.

The truth is, taking care of ourselves is not actually a luxury, it is a necessity especially if we want to be our best for our work, our lives and others. I hope you’ve gained perspective from my share. Start now. Plan time in your schedule for yourself as soon as possible. If you are crazy busy at the moment, even more reason to do it now versus later.

Questions? Call for a free consultation.

Do People Really Make Us Happy?

It appears that people can make us feel a range of emotions; happy, sad, angry, frustrated, euphoric, disappointed, depressed and the list goes on. The truth is this is an illusion. We live in a society that has convinced us that happiness lies outside of us, within our environment and through the things we accumulate. Here is a perfect example of how we have learned this way of understanding life’s happiness. A mother sees her young child crying. The mother enthusiastically offers the child a cookie. The child then seeing his/her mother smiling (happy) makes the association with the cookie as an object that possesses happiness. We could take it a bit further and look at how the cookie has an effect on the child’s brain reinforcing the idea of where happiness lies. Let’s look at the effect of the sugar in the cookie. Sugar is known to light up the reward pathways and cause a surge of feel-good hormones, like dopamine, to be released. As a result, we feel good and “happy”. The child easily confuses the cookie, or any other thing the child learns to associate with happiness, as where happiness lies.

People’s Energy DOES Have an Effect On Us

True. We are all energy. We transmit energy. We receive energy. Yet, energy changes all the time so if someone’s happy and we feel the effects of it we begin to associate thatthat is where happiness lies. We begin to confuse, once again, where happiness lives. “That person makes me happy!” or “That person makes me upset”. It may not be that we consciously want to blame or hold someone accountable for our state of being. It could be that we simply are confused as to where happiness truly is.

Taking Responsibility

Taking responsibility for how we feel is one of the most valuable lessons we can learn in life. Choosing how we feel is a conscious action. We must be fully aware to make this choice. Noticing how we feel is the first step. To choose how we want to feel in a way that is authentic and actually works is to first allow what is so to be. To simply allow it to exist. Allowing is not agreeing. Allowing is allowing. Once we allow what is, then we can make a conscious choice to choose how we want to feel. Once you choose an empowering emotion, take a moment to connect to what that feels like. Experience it fully. Maybe think of a happy memory and relive it. Embrace the feeling and let it wash over you and sink in. Then proceed with your life. It is quite simple but where people go wrong in choosing their emotions is leaving out the acceptance, allowing something to be as it is. What is surprising is that whatever undesirable emotion was being experienced will simply take care of itself and disappear.

True Happiness

Happiness is our birthright. Happiness is a skill. Like all skills, it must be practiced. When you have true happiness within, you are totally fulfilled and the things you engage in are not perceived as a pathway to lead you to happiness but an adventure you can embrace fearlessly with joy and out of the sheer excitement of being alive!

To discover more about happiness, I recommend a current documentary on NetFlix simply titled: “Happiness”. Filmmaker Roko Belic travels to more than a dozen countries, searching for the meaning of happiness.

Sterling is a celebrated professional life coach and a nationally published author. She works with clients all over the world. Her practice is located in Beverly Hills. For more information, please visit: www.intuitivelifebysterling.com www.getyourlifenow.com