Thanking of You!

Taking time out of our busy, modern lives to celebrate giving thanks, in the present moment with the ones we love, feeds and nourishes our soul.

Written by Sterling Mire

Rushing headlong through our lives just to keep up with the rapid movement of time ensures that oftentimes the sacrifice is our very own cherished relationships. Too often we find ourselves hurriedly eating a meal on the run and on our own. Multi-tasking while with others regardless of the situation. Yet, taking the time to prepare a home-cooked meal and share it with beloved friends and/or family not only nourishes our bodies but also feeds our spirits. True companionship fills our heart and creates a healthy mind, body and spirit. When we share a meal with others, it allows us to slow down and be present, in the moment.

The tradition of “breaking bread” with others carries an importance of sharing ones lives with one another in addition to ones food. This creates a bond, a connection that our very lives depend on. We are creatures of society. We were designed to be with one another and to share our lives with one another. Loneliness plays like a disease to the mind, body and soul simply because we were not designed for it, just as we are not designed to starve and survive. Even families today often skip eating meals together in an effort to take care of other life obligations. If we really think about how much of our time and attention we place elsewhere other than towards our relationships, we might just identify where our imbalance lies, or where our sense of dis-ease stems from. Thanksgiving is a holiday that provides us the opportunity to focus on one another without the distractions of everyday life. To appreciate what we have in one another. To cherish the deep, connective bonds that give our lives the meanings we so desire, thus, enriching our experiences of life as a whole. Through these relations, we may even discover what’s been missing all along – the connectedness of our relationships and savoring the passing moments at hand.

Perhaps this Thanksgiving is our chance to focus on how much we truly mean to one another and how we can spend more quality, undivided time together in the unfolding future that fuses with the present.

40 (Yes, 40!) Ways To Create Space For Breakthroughs In Your Life!

Written by Sterling Mire

There’s nothing wrong with a little bit of disorder in your life. As Albert Einstein once stated, “Three rules of work: out of clutter find simplicity, from discord find harmony, in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”

Unexpected challenges are what make us stronger, so don’t avoid them. Be mindful of the following 50 tips and you’ll be able to streamline your life so it's smooth sailing this year.

1. Recycle old papers that are filling up the space in your house. I get this way from time to time, tables or drawers over-loaded with old receipts, junk mail, records, and notes to myself. Sort through it. Organize it and set it free so it can live a reincarnated life elsewhere. 

2. Mentally prepare get ready for change by visualizing your ideal self. Think of someone you admire the most. Imagine that you are them. Would you then choose to be unstoppable and an eternal optimist in life? What do you think about and see for your future? Who do you want to BE in life? See it through your mind's eye so you can take it to the skies!

3. Realize the unexpected can be a good. The Dalai Lama once said, “Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.” Sometimes we don't always know what we want would look like, but the Universe does.

4. Ask people you respect how they created their lives. One of my favorite things to do is reading biographies of people I truly respect and admire. It is another good source of understanding how people overcome the breakdowns in life and still find happiness and success through it all. Truly inspiring!

5. Cut back or cut out alcohol, cigarettes and other vices. Escape mechanisms can be crutches that askew our judgment. Not only can the money saved be turned into vacations or other healthy rewards but it can keep you from getting stopped in life. 

6. Remove negativity from your life, whether it's people or a job you no longer want to do. If you surround yourself with people who bring you down, there’s no need to keep engaging with them out of obligation. Set them free as well as yourself. Who knows, maybe you'll meet up at another time when you both are headed in the same direction

7. Begin your day with a clearly created day along with your cup of morning coffee or tea. Defining what you intend to do in the day along with how you consciously create your experience of it exponentially creates success and keeps you on track. Writing it down allows for focus, memory and a connection that is essential. 

8. Clean your house from top to bottom and throw away anything outdated. A clean, organized space is a clean, organized mind. Our environment effects our emotions, energy and our frame of mind. Besides, you could be breathing excitement into someone's life when you donate your clutter to GoodWill or other charity organizations. Now that's a win-win!

9. Create a clear filing system for your personal records. Clearing up your desktop, creating folders, organizing your computer is one of the best ways to avoid time wasted and empty frustrations when trying to locate your personal records. Set aside just a few minutes a day to donate to this endeavor and you will thank me later. 

10. Do your grocery shopping on a convenient day of the week. If you work M-F then go after work. Leave your weekends open for more important things like what makes you the most happy. Make a list, budget, and get only what you need to save time and money.

11. Take a career test that will help you distinguish your strong points. If you are stuck in your career or job but not sure how to move on, this could be a great way to start opening the door to new, inspiring opportunities. 

12. Work with a life coach to get the most out of life. Nowadays, it’s common for people to have personal workout trainers. Why not invest in all areas of your life so you can achieve maximum results? Many people are struggling with dead weight from the past or emotional baggage that is holding them back. Deal with them and move on with professional assistance such as a life coach. I have perfected a revolutionary manual for life called “The Art of Manifestation System”. It is a air-tight guide that will take you there. www.getyourlifenow.com  for more details or call for your free consultation.

13. Go through cabinets and throw out expired food items. The last time I did this, I found some interesting things. Once gone I felt lighter and it was worth it (plus I could find things I was previously looking for). 

14. Make a clear diet plan with an emphasis on whole grains, fruits and vegetables. A healthy diet plan has a tremendous effect on your overall energy levels, your mood and your state of mind. Did you know that you can get plenty of protein from vegetables? Look at Gorilla's. They are vegan yet stronger than any muscle man. If you do want to continue eating meat, remember the ratio: 80% vegetables, 20% protein. 

15. Add vitamin pills to your daily diet. Vitamin supplements can help reduce the possibility of cancer and osteoporosis, among other disorders. If you are feeling unusually tired or out of sorts and can’t discern the cause, consider taking an inexpensive blood test to take a closer look at the vitamin stores in your body. You would be surprised how many people are missing vitamin B12, vitamin D, and other energy producing vitamins. This can really make a difference! Also, a great energy booster and great detox fast is eating only fruit for 1 day of the week. For best results, food combine, meaning, eat only one kind of fruit in a sitting. If you want to eat a different fruit, wait at least 1 hour before doing so. You skin will definitely glow, you'll have tons of energy and your tummy will shrink. 

 16. Work out a clear exercise plan with an activity that you enjoy such as dancing or biking. I love reading while on the elliptical machine – this way I get to do two things I love at the same time. As long as it’s active, it counts.

17.  Set appointments you’ve been putting off. It’s easy to put off going to the doctor or dentist until we are sick, but preventive care is extremely important in overall health levels. Take care of your health by getting an inexpensive massage at the many newly established foot spas once a week.

 18. Take up a mental exercise. Crossword puzzles, Lumosity, or other word games along these lines are more than just a good way to pass time. They have been shown in studies to help improve overall mental capabilities.

19.Keep a diary. Writing out your thoughts at the end of the day is a good way to unwind and release the day even if you just take 5 focused minutes on this endeavor you’d be pleasantly surprised by the results. Finish off your entry with a list of what you are grateful for. This sets you up for excellent sleep and refreshes you in the morning, setting you up for moving in the right direction in your day. 

20. Make a reading list and join a book club. Most people state that they want to read more, but without an actual plan you may not make the time to do this. Joining a book club not only serves as a social activity but also keeps you up to date with your own reading list. Did you know the benefits of reading are: boosts concentration, exercises spelling, improves knowledge, relaxes you, expands writing skills and enlivens thinking skills, just to name a few things. 

20. Spend time with yourself each day.  Spending quiet time alone gives your mind an opportunity to process and create order.

22. Practice breathing exercises or meditation. Stress can have a debilitating effect on our overall productivity levels. When stressed, I notice I hold my breath. Take the time to take deep breaths and improve oxygen flow to the brain.

23. Speak and act with honesty and integrity. Are you able to stand by what you do and say? If not, it may be time to reexamine your own words and learn to clearly communicate your thoughts in an open, honest way. This helps eliminate mistakes down the road and keeps you empowered.

24. Learn from past mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. It is part of what makes us human. Typically, we make a lot of them during our lifetime. As long as they aren’t repeated too many times, and are looked at and incorporated into our lives as a learning experience, they can be one of the best things that happen to us.

25. Volunteer to help others in your community. Give. Give what you have to give. Advice, love, support, help, time, food, toys, a few dollars, a hug, an ear, a smile, anything. Do it on a daily basis. Look for opportunity and life will not only reward you but your day will sing. Helping others is a rewarding way to get your own life together.

26. Take up a new language or hobby. You will come alive and create an extension of yourself you had not realized that wanted to be born. It's an important part of life. Refrain from looking at hobbies as a luxury but an essential part of a happy, balanced life. 

27. Read books that will contribute something to your life. Anything that expands your world and is uplifting will directly impact your life in a positive way.

28. Talk to a stranger. Spontaneous conversations can be surprisingly inspiring and enlivening.

29. Reconnect with friends and relatives who live far away. Call those people you miss but keep putting off calling. With the Internet, WhatApp, Google Hangout, FaceTime, FaceBook and Skype at your disposal what could possibly be stopping you?

30. Change your toothbrush. It can be filled with bacteria. Take naps or lie down with a meditation. Click here for a free 15 minute Green Meditation. Sleep is often incredibly underrated in its ability to boost energy, mood, and keep reaction times sharp. Drink at least 6 cups of water per day. Staying hydrated helps keep energy levels up and flushes out toxins.

31. Keep commitments scheduled. I am surprised how many people still don't organize their schedules in these busy, modern times. Take it off your mind by scheduling it. No remembering necessary except to look at your calendar. Set alarms to check your schedule or as a reminder to keep your eye on time.

32. Don’t put off difficult conversations. Deal with problems directly and immediately. This will result in a much lower level of anxiety for all involved and give you an opportunity to overcome something you dread turning it into victory and relief. Bonus: you'll get more and more comfortable and effective at communicating. Communication is everything. 

33. Make a list of priorities and do what makes you happy. If you have lost touch with your own priorities lately, it can make a huge difference to take the time to sit and think about what actually makes you happy and then plan it. And then do it.

34. Spend more time outdoors. Nature has an ability to help soothe a troubled mind and clear your thoughts. Taking a walk on the beach, in the woods, or sitting on top of a mountain can clear out the negativities or stress and put everything into perspective. 

35. Attend lectures. This could be any kind of lectures. It’s helpful to keep up-to-date on what’s going on in the world and plan accordingly. Keeping the mind active helps you in all aspects of your daily life.

36. Make laughter a priority. Hang out with some of your most jovial friends for a good dose of laughter, or simply sit back with some favorite old comedies. Laughter counts as exercise and has been shown to not only release stress, see life's challenges in a less significant way, but it also extends your life.

37. Clear some time each day to do nothing. As a child, I remember that we had “free time” scheduled into our school activities every day. This could be used for reading, drawing, or simply staring into space if that’s what we felt like doing. What a novel idea, and one that keeps the brain at ease. 

38. Learn new tips for entertaining and socializing. Throw a great dinner party or get together. Learn how to be a great host or hostess. This can give a big boost to your confidence levels and simply knowing how to introduce people properly helps break the ice and connect people on a deeper level. This leads to many breakthroughs for everyone.

39. Keep texting to a minimum. Text only when there is an urgent message to convey. Something that is not emotion based. When feelings or emotions are involved people tend to misunderstand even the most benign messages. Call or email a well-written message when the message is more than, “I’ll be there at 5:00 pm”.

40. Acknowledge people in your life on a regular basis. Oftentimes we think, “That’s a pretty blouse”, or “I am so happy such and such was made possible by _____” but we don’t say it. People are not mind-readers so even saying the obvious makes a huge difference in people’s lives. Remember, people want only 2 basic things in life: To be “gotten” for who they are and to make a difference in the world.

5 Ways to Let Go of Pain - Be Free!

                                                                                Written By Sterling Mire

Giving something up can be the way to having everything.

Let’s face it – life hurts. There is no human being on the planet that hasn’t experienced emotional pain and/or trauma.

It’s an awful experience. Yes, agreed.

So, there is pain and what you do with pain is what is most important. Wouldn’t you rather be living your life fully again? Enjoying all that is wonderful and awe-inspiring or be stopped by the past incident that cannot be undone and continue suffering over it? No one truly wants to suffer so let’s explore the alternative.

Putting the blame on others is a seemingly easy enough way to handle the situation. We feel like someone let us down or did us wrong and we are owed an apology. We think they need to “own up” to what they did.

Blaming others and not taking responsibility for ourselves is the fastest way to being powerless in our lives and leaves us stuck with anger, resentment and no resolving of the pain we feel. Yes, you have valid feelings. It’s important to acknowledge them and express them fully but put a limit on how long you feel them. You can even say to yourself, “For the next 15-30 minutes I am going to cry my eyes out, write in my diary or say out loud how I feel and feel it 100% and then I am going to move forward with my day/night”. Getting into the habit of indulging in your grief is a vicious cycle. Remember, you are the one hurting more than the other person if you continue to “live” your pain over and over. It’s a balance. A balance of embracing what’s there for you to express and putting it away for the rest of the day or preferably resolving it and moving on.

5 Ways to Move Through Pain

The pathway to happiness, fulfillment and satisfaction in your life is to make room for it. If you are full of sadness, anger, bitterness how can the opposite show up for you?

1. Make a choice to let go

Things do not resolve themselves without you choosing it. If you avoid making a conscious effort to move on you could be setting yourself up to continue to keep the pain alive and drag it around in your life and even effecting your outer world in a negative way.

Choosing to let it go also means you are accepting that you have the choice to do so. You can decide to stop playing the story over and over in your mind every time you think of that person.

2. As mentioned before, an important step to moving on is expressing your pain. Find ways that are satisfying and healthy. Experiment with the tips mentioned above. Find a great listener, someone who you look up to.

Even though you may not have had the same amount of responsibility for the pain you’ve experienced, look to see what you are responsible for. What can you learn from this experience and do differently in the future? Choosing to be less free and trusting is not necessarily a great choice versus being more aware of what is actually being communicated before all hurt broke loose. Learn to really understand and get to know people before “jumping in”. The most successful relationships were built as friendships where mutual respect and admiration can grow. Consider taking communication classes. Ultimately, will you choose to become wiser from the experience or a victim?

3. Don’t choose to be a victim, choose to be a winning warrior

Being a victim can feel pretty good. We don’t have to take responsibility or take a good look at ourselves. But being a victim is like donning a costume of a decrepit zombie and that is just not who we authentically are. Your feelings are worthy but when we allow ourselves to wallow in them it becomes at the expense of everyone else in the world and we all matter – equally.

The good news is that we have a choice in every given moment. We can continue to feel bad about someone else’s actions (or lack of actions) or decide to feel GOOD! Taking responsibility for your own happiness is power and giving your power over to someone else to determine how you feel is absurd. No amount of obsessively thinking about a painful situation has ever fixed a relationship issue. So why choose it?

4. Be Here Now – In the Present Moment

Do you really know what it feels like to be powerfully present in the now? How liberating, freeing and just good it feels? Here’s an exercise that will help you get related to reality – now.

Either out loud or in your head notice 5 things you hear (if there are not five you can repeat something). Now, 5 things you see and 5 things you physically feel. Repeat the same exercise working your way down to 1.  5-4-3-2-1. When you’ve completed the exercise notice how you feel, your surroundings and your thoughts. Suddenly reality has taken over your imaginings.

5. Forgive Them as Well as Yourself

Perhaps we won’t forget someone’s poor behavior, but everyone is deserving of our forgiveness, including ourselves. Sometimes getting trapped in pain makes it occur like forgiveness isn’t an option, yet it is. Forgiveness is empathy and empathy connects us to the beauty, love and laughter in life. Accepting “what is” doesn’t mean you are agreeing with what happened. That it is ok to happen again and again and again but that it is ok that it happened once. Forgiveness is a true sign of strength because that is actually where strength comes from.

Forgiving yourself is just as important. Identify what you said to yourself about yourself after the breakdown occurred. That is what you want to forgive yourself for. For inventing and taking on a lie as if it is truth. Anything disempowering is inauthentic to who we truly are. Create something new, the truth, to live by.

Although letting go takes an effort. It requires us to be courageous, to be committed to our happiness and health. Everyday you hold on to pain is another day lost to it. Go ahead. You can do it. Choose to implement these exercises in your life and set yourself, and everyone else, free!

* * *

Dark Places We Find Ourselves In

                                                                                                                                 Written by Sterling Mire

                                                                                       Sometimes it’s the darkness that leads us to our brightest light.

We often just want to go to where we envision our lives to be. We dream, have goals, we create plans and we want to experience it now. We desire happiness, health and success! When life leads us to places we don’t want to go we often interpret it to mean something’s wrong or we’ve made a mistake somehow. The truth is life is doing us a favor by presenting us a breakdown to overcome so we are better equipped for life’s breakthroughs. Difficulties are a sign that we need to wake up and work on something that needs our attention.

Often we need to “hit rock bottom” in order to soar. When we surrender to the process of working out a breakdown we are taking the first step into transformation. It allows us to realize there is something within the domain of what we don’t know we don’t know that creates the humbleness that moves us to discovering something new and necessary for our evolution and growth. Incomplete past experiences that have restricted our world and enslaved us in negativity is what there is to pay attention to. What mental conversations are going on in our mental chatter? These are the clues to what needs to be transformed, what we need to re-construct. Everything can be interpreted either positively or negatively. What are we going to choose? To find the good in what was disappointing and find the lessons we are to learn sets us free. 

As with Dorothy in the “Wizard of Oz” we are all on a gold-bricked road that can suddenly turn dark. It’s when we remember that there is no City of Oz that will provide the answers. It is within ourselves that we recognize we are whole and complete, here and now and all answers to whatever we are looking for is within us. It is here we find the courage, inspiration and perfection that exists everywhere.

Having a mentor or coach is wonderful way to provide guidance and assist us with what we are working on and help identify what we sometimes can not see for ourselves.

For more information about coaching visit: www.getyourlifenow.com

Seeking Truth on the Other Side

We can experience bliss in our world if we have the knowledge.

Written by Sterling Mire

August 8th, just a few days ago, a dear friend of mine lost his life to Cancer. From what I understand, he is now enjoying his blissful afterlife. In the past several months, watching my friend fighting so bravely for the life he so cherished led me to want to understand more about what lies ahead of us when we expire here on earth.

My desire to find peace and acceptance within the situation has drawn me to want to hear what NDE’s (Near Death Experiencer’s) have say about the truth and answers to not just life after life, but life itself, here, as we know it. There are an outstanding number of NDE’s who came back into this realm with the understanding of life’s meanings. What is our true purpose in life? Some of you may be atheists, agnostics or perhaps a healthy skeptic like me. Yet, what challenges the skeptic in me is can all these people be wrong?  I think not. Furthermore, what strikes me about Near Death Experiences is that many who do return from the dead are atheists who are transformed believers in life after life without a shadow of a doubt. They even go on to explain that the afterlife is far more real than this life, extraordinary beyond belief in its perfection. They didn’t want to return to Earth although they loved their earthly life and everyone in their life. Yet, after hearing their descriptions, who could blame them? Hearing their captivating stories have been a deep comfort in my time of loss.

Many even drastically change their careers when they return from something meaningless to something meaningful. Many begin careers as teachers, mentors, psychics, healing profession, hospice nurses, public speakers, authors, and other paths that are associated with humanitarian fields.

It is not uncommon to lose the fear of death for NDE’s, which is the root of all our fears – loss and the loss of our lives tops the list.  

 When NDE’s talk about their life review when they were dead, they commonly express that they not only relive everything in their lives they also experience how they treated others by experiences their feelings as well. During this process the NDE may even feel shame, guilt and remorse for how they treated others. This is a profound teaching. NDE’s also go on to state that when being “praised” in Heaven it wasn’t for their accolades in life or achievements. It was simply for the way they interacted with others by caring for and loving fellow human beings.

NDE’s come back to life with a wealth of knowledge.  One of the most important pieces of knowledge they carry around with them in this is knowing we are one. Every day they are unwaveringly committed to generously taking care of fellow human beings. Not just family, friends – loved ones but everyone. At the end of their day they honestly ask themselves if they did enough for others. Helped, assisted, were there for others, gave love, became deeply compassionate.

Fortunately, we don’t have to have an Near Death Experience to take heed of this truth and knowledge that they have been given the opportunity to bring back to us.

We can start to shift our lives today in the direction of love and really giving to each and everyone we encounter. Imagine how life would be experienced differently for all of us. It would simply be Heaven on Earth.

Curious to know more? 

Afterlife Evidence

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDRooQmtFJ3V81101wGvi5Q

And

NDERF.org

Acceptance vs. Agreement

                  Knowing the difference makes ALL the difference.

“Some of our greatest successes come from unconditional acceptance of all aspects of life.” ~Sterling Mire

My clients often ask me, “How can I possibly accept something if I don’t like or agree with it?” My answer is simple: Avoid resistance. I’ll explain. The reason why avoiding resistance is the solution to the problem is because what we resist will persist. If we resist what is so in this particular moment we will be giving energy to that which we would like to change. We feed the beast. Stop feeding the beast and that beast will disappear.

I am a fan of Eckhart Tolle. In his bestselling book, “The Power of Now”, he describes acceptance as this. Imagine you fell into quicksand. Your first instinct is to resist it by flailing your arms wildly to get out. The only thing you achieve by resisting is frustration, panic and exhaustion so you end up sinking. If you just accept what is so, “Ok, I just fell into quicksand. I accept that. It is what is so.”, this frees you up to begin to create a way out – and you do! Acceptance is not agreement. I must stress this. Accepting is acknowledging and allowing something to just be. Once we have done just that, then we can began to move into a solution driven direction with ease. Answers to our questions are free to come to us – physically and mentally. We are an open channel for guidance.

Life is fluid. It can occur as if what is happening to us in the moment is permanent. We are stuck and we begin to get resigned in life. If we remind ourselves that it just appears that way BUT is actually is not the truth, it is a step in the right direction for finding the change we seek.

Life is also unpredictable. If we can accept that as part of the beauty in life then we can create the ability to embrace what ever comes along, even if it is painful.

Life will bring many challenges, such as the loss of someone we love, and it is truly challenging to embrace “what is so” when we are suffering. Yet, if we start cultivating acceptance in our lives right now, we will cope with future crises in an empowered way finding the positivity in the situation. It really is a powerfully effective way to live. Begin today to just BE with what is so. Notice how life is different and notice how you respond to undesirable things as they show up and how insignificant and manageable they become. You will be amazed!

WRITTEN BY: STERLING MIRE

Embracing Differences Makes a Difference

Written by: Sterling Mire

Accepting how people are different from ourselves can benefit us and heal the world as a whole more than we realize.

We are all unique. We’ve been raised by different people, with different siblings and friends, sometimes even in different countries with different cultures and within different generations. Yet, we all have the same basic wants and needs. These differences don’t have to result in disconnect or friction in our experiences of one another.

Each of us is the result of a completely individual miraculous design. We all have different talents, skills, points of view, ideas, perceptions and experiences to share with the world creating a contribution unique unto us and providing something different from others contributions. Human beings want the same things in life yet may go about it differently. We all want love, security, acceptance, and to make a difference in the world we live in. We are all moving in the same direction yet coming from and going about it in different ways.

We are here to learn from our choices and the consequences of making those choices unconsciously or consciously. Granting each other grace, forgiveness, love and support along our journeys in life help us to grow for the betterment of the world. Having a level of compassion when interacting with others helps others to grow in a way that serves the planet in a constructive versus destructive way.

No one likes to be criticized or ostracized by others. When we give up judging or criticizing others taking into account that we don’t know what it is to live their lives or what they may be challenged with at that moment not only helps others but helps ourselves too by creating space for positive growth. Accepting differences allows us to unite with one another, forge a bond and gives access to cooperation towards the fulfillment of peace, love and happiness.

Sometimes people can frustrate us especially when it is someone we are close to and care about. Maybe we see them being self-sabotaging or being destructive and suffering needlessly. If we can accept that what is happening is part of their learning process, their journey, individual to their independent life path we actually create room for transforming the situation for the better versus resisting and fighting the situation by making it wrong. What also helps is stepping outside of our own world and moving into others lives bringing with us the intention to understand and accept “what is” so we create a space for transformation.

Ultimately, we are all experiencing the result of the choices we’ve made in life. In other words, the consequences of what we consciously or unconsciously choose give way to the experiences we have. All human beings truly want is to feel good, even if they are not sure how to do that. Choices and consequences are great guides to helping us learn our way. Everyone learns differently and in different time frames. Respecting those differences help move the human race as a whole to a place of peace, love, fulfillment, and unity.

What Did I Do?

By Sterling Mire

Many times what people say or do to us has nothing to do with us at all.

Have you ever had the experience where what someone does or says doesn’t seem to jibe with what is actually going on? Yet, we take their behavior personally and make it mean something disempowering about us leaving us confused, hurt and disappointed. It’s helpful to remember: people are more connected to their past experiences versus the experiences they would like to have in their future.  That past can be what just happened 5 minutes prior or as far back as childhood. Taking things personally without taking a moment to think about where they could be coming from takes us off path.

We also have to be responsible for what we do and say. Could what we said or did provoke a particular response? If our intentions are benign but misunderstood, then we can apologize and clarify what we mean to the other person. If they refuse to forgive and hear the value in what we are trying to convey then we can walk away feeling satisfied with the responsibility and the action we took to remedy the situation. We can also see that there is something that person is personally dealing with that may have absolutely nothing to do with us but what they are struggling with in their own life. Be compassionate and loving and move on. We are all dealing with something in life. We are all evolving and being given the opportunity to grow and growth comes from our relationships. If this is a relationship that we are committed to, then we take move on by taking responsibility of our communications and distinguish if there is anything else we can do to help. Sometimes just being clear in our communications is all there is for us to do. We need to just give the other person some space to be with the situation and gain the understanding and clarity within themselves.

When you shift your attention to the bigger picture you may then notice that there was nothing you did that was inappropriate and can choose to not take it personally leaving you free of feeling attacked or blaming yourself for something that didn’t have anything to do with you. It’s up to you to retain your self-worth while knowing you are taking responsibility for your words and actions. This is the best way to live an empowered and satisfying life!

Contributing to the Bigger Picture - Breakdown to Breakthrough

Written by: Sterling Mire

Being of service to others allows us to step outside of our own struggles which can bring answers and pathways to overcome challenges in our own life.

When things aren’t going the way we’d like them to our first instinct is to run and hide, preferably to the nearest dark hole we can find and escape. Sometimes we choose to obsessively think about the problems that face us until we can’t see straight. Yes, there are times when we need to get off the merry-go-round of life and just stop to catch our breath, clear the air, and deal with issues at hand. Other times our best course of action is to be of service to others. Giving ourselves to others not only helps us to gain distance from our own problems but allows us to transform others lives for the better. This creates empowerment and confidence within our world which contributes to finding solutions to our own conflicts. There are two basic human needs being fulfilled: making a difference in the world and being accepted. As a bonus, we also create a connection and bond with others that allows us to feel stronger and more powerful in life.

Helping others creates evidence that we are one and not alone in our quest for support and enlightenment. Even in our darkest hours we can still
contribute to someone else’s struggles and not only make the difference for others but for ourselves as well. It’s a win-win situation and we get to transform who we know ourselves to be.

Make an effort next time you find yourself in a breakdown and fully give of yourself to someone else in need. Notice what happens, what opens up. Notice how your view and perception of life is altered and how you begin to move in a much better direction in your own life.

“We rise by lifting others.”

AVOID…AVOID…AVOID…

When we summon up the courage that lives within us and confront the things we want to avoid we then have access to breakthroughs and growth that otherwise would have been impossible.

We’ve all had the experience of taking on something we dread only to discover a sense of accomplishment and empowerment on the other side of completion. We uncover the confidence and strength that was lying dormant within us. We awaken our true spirit and part of the reason we are here. It’s a wonderful opportunity to learn that what we fear is actually nothing to fear at all. Instead we feel free, enlivened and renewed.

If we chose to put something off or avoid it because it scares us or causes us to feel stopped inside it may be because we think that it will cause something to change that we are not ready to experience. This is a false illusion and the way we know this is by the obstacles in life that show up when we choose avoidance. We are off-track but unclear as to why. The fear that stops us is why. The acronym for fear is False Experience Appearing Real. We actually feel lighter and relieved when we complete something we didn’t want to. Alternatively, if we choose to remain in our comfort zone we will take ourselves off our synchronistic path connected to the source of all creation and our lives won’t work as we intend or desire.

In this moment, there is at least one thing we have in our lives that is currently left undone. Making that task top priority and completing before all else (or as soon as possible) will liberate us, invigorate us, and re-create who we identify ourselves to be. We will unleash incredible energy within our lives that will fuel us for our future with confidence!

Author: Sterling Mire

Time Out For YOU!

Sometimes we just need time to ourselves to regain a balanced sense of ourselves before continuing on our journey called life.

Most of us feel a little imbalanced from time to time. Times of high stress, living in the big city, can make us feel like we are out of whack. We take care so many people, places, things, work and general life obligations we forget about taking care of ourselves. We’ve been taught taking time out is a luxury versus a necessity although science has proven that if we take more time out to just be we would not only be more productive and effective in life but less stressed. We have to draw a line and say “enough is enough”, stop the merry-go-round of life and get off for a while to reflect, let go, rediscover ourselves, and revive ourselves for our future.

I have found a good way of getting in touch with what I truly need at the moment is I imagine having a magic genie in a bottle and that genie asks, “If you could do or be anywhere on this day what or where would it be?”. Maybe the answer that shows up  is laying on the sands of a Caribbean beach, receiving a massage, taking a hike in nature, unplugging for the day and reading a book in a quiet and beautiful place, driving to a place you’ve yet to discover. Let’s say if the answer is the Caribbean but you are living in Los Angeles and you only have a day to yourself then take yourself to the Pacific ocean, perhaps to a stretch of beach you haven’t been to before. If a full-body massage doesn’t fit your budget how about an affordable foot spa or the local nail salon where they offer chair massages? The point is to expand yourself and get in touch with what is missing in your life right now. Balance is key to optimal health.

Ever visited Europe, such as Italy, or any other exotic destination? Have you noticed people seem less stressed? It’s because they are. They work to live, not live to work. Even if you live in the U.S.A. you can still adopt a more European life-style right here, right now.  Your happiness, health, quality of living and productivity depends on it! Create a consistency to taking time out for yourself. Imagine taking 1 very special day a week to yourself or a 2-3 day weekend vacation once a month. You can do it on a budget if need be. Out of 31 days in the month, taking 3-5 days for just yourself is very little and will not negatively alter taking care of business on the other days.

The truth is, taking care of ourselves is not actually a luxury, it is a necessity especially if we want to be our best for our work, our lives and others. I hope you’ve gained perspective from my share. Start now. Plan time in your schedule for yourself as soon as possible. If you are crazy busy at the moment, even more reason to do it now versus later.

Questions? Call for a free consultation.

Your Gift From the Universe: Act Fast! Time is Running Out….

For those of you who have experienced a number of breakdowns, changes and losses this year this is an opportunity to understand what’s going on. Most, if not all of us, need to pay attention to this learning opportunity given to us in this year of 2016. If we choose to not take up on what’s being offered we will be experiencing the same things over and over again until we get it. This means the pain and suffering will also continue. No one wants pain and suffering so let’s hop aboard and receive the lesson we are to learn if we want to evolve and embrace all the truly wonderful things in life that we truly want to experience!

The 9 Year Cycle

- the end of an era -
going back to claim your future

What we call the beginning is often the end.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
The end is where we start from.
T.S. Eliot

The 9 year cycle brings you to the end of a complete nine-year cycle of your life. It is a year to complete unfinished business, reach conclusions and tie up loose ends. These actions will help you step into the next nine years of your life without the pressure of unresolved matters of the past pulling you back.

As one door closes another opens, but if you refuse to accept that certain doors really have closed, you will be unable to recognize the new possibilities. It is time to face the absolute reality of your past - and how it is impacting your present, and then decide how you want to create your future. Your reality is not just a matter of where you stand today or where you want to be tomorrow. It is made up of everything that has ever happened to you, everyone you have ever met, anything you have ever done, and any feeling you have ever felt - or denied.

Where you stand today is the result of where you have been. But before you can progress, you must release yourself emotionally, mentally, or physically, from those aspects which no longer serve a purpose and are chaining you to a point in time that no longer exists. It is time to integrate your past with the present, so that the potential of your future can be seen and felt. This is achieved by accepting the past exactly as it was and by feeling everything about it that you have been unable to feel.

A significant transformation is likely this year - alterations and improvements to all areas of your life, even though you may not immediately see the positive merits of certain situations. When the old buried emotion that is weighing you down is released, life suddenly becomes a lighter experience and is more easily understood and enjoyed. If you feel a sense of numbness or stagnation, it is because you are so close to accepting your full reality but are holding the emotions involved in, instead of expressing them out. This magnetic pressure prevents forward movement and draws you to a repeat of the very situations you would prefer to avoid. We have all been conditioned to believe that emotional expression denotes weakness and is “negative”. In fact, emotional expression is our strength, our own self-healing mechanism, our only means of freedom, and the ultimate tool of creativity.

People who refuse to accept the past spend their lives rehashing the same old situations, making the same old mistakes, unable to accept new realities, and dissatisfied with everything. They justify their unsatisfactory existence by blaming others, blaming time, blaming life itself and blaming themselves.  

Some people claim to be apart from or above the journey humanity is taking, all the time resenting that they are too afraid to be a part of it. And, because none of us has truly evolved into Free Will yet, we are all affected by these misunderstandings.

This year, it is not enough to simply have an intellectual understanding of Free Will. You will learn that your feelings are your only means of activating personal freedom. This year of endings and conclusions offers you the chance to free yourself of the erroneous beliefs that have always caused unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and stagnation. The 9 year cycle teaches you how to break free from the past by releasing your grip on it. Without this understanding, you will forever be a victim of something that once happened to you. It is time to heal.

Nothing new happens in the 9 year cycle until the necessary endings take place. The more you strive to begin something new without first releasing the old, the more resistance life will give you. If you do not make an effort to accept your emotional realities, you may find that your history will repeat itself in the next nine years.

 This is a year to go back over your life’s continuous journey and consider everything that happened to you. There will be things you don’t want to remember; memories you may be blocking from your consciousness. These are the very events and situations that need to be addressed. These are the heavy loads that are weighing on you like an anchor, preventing you from moving forward into the kind of life you desire. The more genuine intent you have to allow forgotten memories to resurface, the easier it will become to accept 9’s healing process.  

It is the sheer weight of past and present emotion that causes depression, even though we try to fool ourselves into believing that depression can be avoided by avoiding these emotions. This pretense creates deeper denial and, eventually, deeper depression. If you find yourself dwelling on certain emotions such as anger, fear, or grief to the extent that you cannot live constructively, there is a good chance you are using these emotions as an excuse for continuing to deny another emotion which is even more deeply buried. Denial is no longer an option on this Earth. It is denial that has caused many of the dire problems that humanity faces today. This applies as much to your personal life as it does to life in general.

Being afraid to feel your feelings is a natural response. The only way to deal with this fear is to understand that fear, like all other feelings, must be allowed to follow its own evolutionary process. It must be allowed to move. When you cling to fear you are refusing to accept its ability to help you. And, by stopping its movement you, in turn, become paralyzed by it. Feel your fear, accept its presence. Allow it to move through you and out of you. This process develops courage, and the ability to recognize those things which really do need to be feared, and those which need not be feared at all. Your feelings are your senses and instincts, all of which are vital to your survival.

Be honest with yourself. Mere positive thinking can do more harm than good if you are not simultaneously feeling that way. Your thoughts and feelings are two very different energies and must be experienced separately so that you can tell them apart. And when your masculine thoughts and feminine feelings make peace and join forces, your personal power to survive and prosper increases significantly, and your entire being evolves.

The 9 vibration takes you in what seems like the wrong direction - backwards - but this is the direction you must take in order to find the unfinished issues which are preventing you from going forward. It is natural for the 9 year cycle to be an emotional one. Not only will you be dealing with emotions from the past, but also with new emotional situations in the present which, in effect, help trigger the old feelings which need to be released.

This year’s circumstances may be reenactments of the past, in different forms, representing the consequences of certain actions, inaction, beliefs, and attitudes. You cannot live fully in the present if part of you is stuck in the past. Therefore, you will want to go back and retrieve those parts of yourself that are stuck there.  

Generosity and compassion play important roles now. Through a greater depth of feeling in yourself, you will become more sympathetic to other people’s realities and more aware of how you, and they, are compounding certain problems by denying the feelings involved. You will also become aware of the difference between compassion and guilt.

If you are reluctantly involved in something, guilt may have convinced you that it’s the right thing to do. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. But the only way to be sure is by letting your true feelings guide you. It is in the 9 year that we realize the extent to which guilt has kept us from achieving happiness and how much we have denied guilt by reversing it into blame.

In the 9 year, unhappy memories arise so they can be healed, creating more inner space for happiness to resurface. Inaccurate beliefs are replaced by new truths and potentials. As you accept what has happened to you, you develop a clearer picture of what you want to happen. The old you becomes the present you, and your Will - your desire - determines the future you. Not all endings have unhappy emotions attached. Some situations will be concluded, bringing you much relief. Don’t assume the worst. Accept that your past is the ground you had to cover in order to get to where you want to be. Your understanding of this will make your 9 year one of the most exhilarating and dynamic journeys you will ever travel.

Do People Really Make Us Happy?

It appears that people can make us feel a range of emotions; happy, sad, angry, frustrated, euphoric, disappointed, depressed and the list goes on. The truth is this is an illusion. We live in a society that has convinced us that happiness lies outside of us, within our environment and through the things we accumulate. Here is a perfect example of how we have learned this way of understanding life’s happiness. A mother sees her young child crying. The mother enthusiastically offers the child a cookie. The child then seeing his/her mother smiling (happy) makes the association with the cookie as an object that possesses happiness. We could take it a bit further and look at how the cookie has an effect on the child’s brain reinforcing the idea of where happiness lies. Let’s look at the effect of the sugar in the cookie. Sugar is known to light up the reward pathways and cause a surge of feel-good hormones, like dopamine, to be released. As a result, we feel good and “happy”. The child easily confuses the cookie, or any other thing the child learns to associate with happiness, as where happiness lies.

People’s Energy DOES Have an Effect On Us

True. We are all energy. We transmit energy. We receive energy. Yet, energy changes all the time so if someone’s happy and we feel the effects of it we begin to associate thatthat is where happiness lies. We begin to confuse, once again, where happiness lives. “That person makes me happy!” or “That person makes me upset”. It may not be that we consciously want to blame or hold someone accountable for our state of being. It could be that we simply are confused as to where happiness truly is.

Taking Responsibility

Taking responsibility for how we feel is one of the most valuable lessons we can learn in life. Choosing how we feel is a conscious action. We must be fully aware to make this choice. Noticing how we feel is the first step. To choose how we want to feel in a way that is authentic and actually works is to first allow what is so to be. To simply allow it to exist. Allowing is not agreeing. Allowing is allowing. Once we allow what is, then we can make a conscious choice to choose how we want to feel. Once you choose an empowering emotion, take a moment to connect to what that feels like. Experience it fully. Maybe think of a happy memory and relive it. Embrace the feeling and let it wash over you and sink in. Then proceed with your life. It is quite simple but where people go wrong in choosing their emotions is leaving out the acceptance, allowing something to be as it is. What is surprising is that whatever undesirable emotion was being experienced will simply take care of itself and disappear.

True Happiness

Happiness is our birthright. Happiness is a skill. Like all skills, it must be practiced. When you have true happiness within, you are totally fulfilled and the things you engage in are not perceived as a pathway to lead you to happiness but an adventure you can embrace fearlessly with joy and out of the sheer excitement of being alive!

To discover more about happiness, I recommend a current documentary on NetFlix simply titled: “Happiness”. Filmmaker Roko Belic travels to more than a dozen countries, searching for the meaning of happiness.

Sterling is a celebrated professional life coach and a nationally published author. She works with clients all over the world. Her practice is located in Beverly Hills. For more information, please visit: www.intuitivelifebysterling.com www.getyourlifenow.com