How To Get What We Want! (Not What We Don’t Want!)

Starry, starry night….Wish upon a star

Written by Sterling Mire

When we are preoccupied with worries about the future, we are actually helping bring those fear-based thoughts into reality.

When we say or think to ourselves what we don’t want versus what we do want, we are breathing life into the very thing we are trying to avoid. It’s been ingrained in us to push, fight and resist against the things we do not desire in order to bring forth that which we do desire. We were actually taught the opposite of what we should be doing to bring the desirable into our lives and keep the undesirable out of our lives. This is why we tend to obsess about what we are trying to avoid.

I always emphasize, when working with clients, that the key to creating and ushering in our heart-felt deep desires is by first allowing, not resisting, what is currently our situation. What we resist persists.

This is one of the essential keys to manifesting.  Without it we will just be spinning our wheels, going nowhere fast. For instance, if we are feeling financially pinched, yet we desire abundance, we must first acknowledge, “what is so” and accept it, without making it bad or wrong. When we are simply able to accept it as the current circumstance, without creating stories around it, we are exercising non-resistance, therefore, we stop the persistence of the situation, in this case it’s scarcity. Now that we have stopped the “growth” of scarcity, we now have a clearing, a space, for creating that which we do want: abundance. Now, abundance has the space to not only be created, but to flourish! 

Can you list some of the things you would like to have or experience in your life that seems to be eluding you? Occurs to be unattainable? Can you identify what you are resisting about that situation? 

Consider this: everything you want wants YOU! There is nothing in this world that is standing in your way. No circumstances, no people, no hindrances, limitations or constraints that you have not created yourself, consciously or unconsciously. If you are the only one blocking you from experiencing your ideal life, then the good news is you are the only one who can change all of that! When we consciously create, we can move mountains in seconds and achieve each and every one of our utmost heart’s desires easily, effortlessly and joyously! Once you’ve tapped into this magical realm you’ll be completely amazed at how life actually works and how so much of what you previously understood was actually backwards.

And, consider that you can have everything your wildest imagination can think up and that you already possess everything you need. All you need now are the tools and know-how to tap into your version of heaven on earth!

Thanking of You!

Taking time out of our busy, modern lives to celebrate giving thanks, in the present moment with the ones we love, feeds and nourishes our soul.

Written by Sterling Mire

Rushing headlong through our lives just to keep up with the rapid movement of time ensures that oftentimes the sacrifice is our very own cherished relationships. Too often we find ourselves hurriedly eating a meal on the run and on our own. Multi-tasking while with others regardless of the situation. Yet, taking the time to prepare a home-cooked meal and share it with beloved friends and/or family not only nourishes our bodies but also feeds our spirits. True companionship fills our heart and creates a healthy mind, body and spirit. When we share a meal with others, it allows us to slow down and be present, in the moment.

The tradition of “breaking bread” with others carries an importance of sharing ones lives with one another in addition to ones food. This creates a bond, a connection that our very lives depend on. We are creatures of society. We were designed to be with one another and to share our lives with one another. Loneliness plays like a disease to the mind, body and soul simply because we were not designed for it, just as we are not designed to starve and survive. Even families today often skip eating meals together in an effort to take care of other life obligations. If we really think about how much of our time and attention we place elsewhere other than towards our relationships, we might just identify where our imbalance lies, or where our sense of dis-ease stems from. Thanksgiving is a holiday that provides us the opportunity to focus on one another without the distractions of everyday life. To appreciate what we have in one another. To cherish the deep, connective bonds that give our lives the meanings we so desire, thus, enriching our experiences of life as a whole. Through these relations, we may even discover what’s been missing all along – the connectedness of our relationships and savoring the passing moments at hand.

Perhaps this Thanksgiving is our chance to focus on how much we truly mean to one another and how we can spend more quality, undivided time together in the unfolding future that fuses with the present.

Finding Purpose in Our Lives

Written by Sterling Mire

Everything happens for a reason in our lives. There is always a purpose.

The road we are on to fulfill our goals and dreams can occur as challenging, confusing and complicated although it need not be. We derail ourselves when we lose faith and lose sight of the bigger picture. Distractions and details obscure our ability to see if we are on the right track or not. Often times we question our abilities to fulfill on something we desire. We wonder what is the purpose of our existence. Why am I here and what is this thing called life?  Where do I fit in? We should move forward trusting that we are exactly where we are suppose to be and find the value with where we currently are. Paying attention to where we are now, instead of worrying about some future event, is where we should be focusing our thoughts. 

 The universe is helping us towards our deepest desires. It listens to our inner commitments, whether they are what we intend or not. In other words, if we want to change jobs but deep down we doubt we are ready for such a change, the universe will honor the doubt we have. It will keep us where we are, where we are really committed to being, which is stuck in the familiar versus change. 

 The first place to start is to examine how ready we are for the changes we so wish to experience. Are we saying to ourselves, “No matter what lies ahead, I am ready to take the plunge and move forward into the world of possibility!”  If we feel that what we desire resonates with us on every level, then we are ready to embrace those thoughts, those dreams and experience them in the physical realm. We must then trust the universe knows and honors our authentic wishes and will help us to bring it into fruition.  The assistance and opportunities will show up when it is time, not when we think it’s time.  The universe knows best when something is to be. In hindsight, when our vision materializes, we will then understand the perfection of timing orchestrated by the universe and not what our logical mind tries contrive.  Usually, we will look back and say to ourselves, “Wow! It makes sense as to why this is the best time for this to happen. I never would’ve figured that out beforehand. The universe really does know better how to fill in the details of, when, what, how it would unfold. I don’t need to worry about figuring all of that out. All I need to do is clarify my wishes and move forward with unwavering faith!” You also discover how simple and easy life is to live and the journey becomes joyous, freeing and fulfilling as things germinate and come into existence.

 Nothing happens without reason. If you are wondering about your purpose in life, simply clarify and embrace the things that resonate with you. Start with anything that is in alignment with what speaks to your heart and soul. If you like being with children, maybe a place to start is to donate your time to a Children’s Hospital or babysit on off nights. Or maybe you are interested in living a more soulfully satisfying life a good place to start may be to read The DailyOm for daily inspirational articles that propel you into the right direction. Taking action to move the energy forward is far more effective than waiting for the “perfect thing” to fall into your lap. The universe helps those who help themselves and generating movements forward will bring new ideas or ideal opportunities to you. The universe wants to assist you and will if you connect with its energy to help guide you by trusting, knowing it is there to guide you. Life’s journey can be a rich and satisfying one with the destination simply a part of the ride and not the most important aspect of living a fulfilling life.

The Power of Humility

Written by Sterling Mire

Practicing the art of humility in our lives allows us access to so many answers to our questions and to the endless gifts others have to share with us. Life is richer, more colorful and experienced in a satisfying way.

Very few people today even know what the word humility means and the value of it. Why is being humble such a powerful and extraordinary way of being? When we are being humble, we are demonstrating quiet confidence. We know we are no better or lesser than anyone else. We know we have access to our own personal power and therefore, do not have anything to prove, because we just know we are.

When we practice being humble, we open ourselves up to the world and allow ourselves to grow and learn things that serve our evolution. Our greatest leaders in the world practice humility: Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Albert Einstein, Mother Theresa, Abraham Lincoln, Jesus Christ, Stephen Hawking, just to name a few. Being humble opens up a world of possibilities that other wise could never be. It also keeps life itself a fascinating, curious, awe-inspiring adventure. We are also given the gift of connectedness with our fellow human beings – a very fulfilling experience! Humble people know the value of everything that exists in the world. They can observe life and appreciate everything about it.

Humble people are strong, charismatic and powerful.  They have access to providing solutions towards the betterment of the outer world, and in turn, bettering their own inner world.  When we are practicing being humble, we shift from being driven by the limitations of the ego and are able to soar limitlessly through the higher wisdom that lies within all of us.  We are free. We are able to create our existence without constraints or restrictions. We are at the helm of directing our lives to anywhere we desire.

Humility is a balance between being worthy and yet seeing the worth in everyone and everything in life.

40 (Yes, 40!) Ways To Create Space For Breakthroughs In Your Life!

Written by Sterling Mire

There’s nothing wrong with a little bit of disorder in your life. As Albert Einstein once stated, “Three rules of work: out of clutter find simplicity, from discord find harmony, in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”

Unexpected challenges are what make us stronger, so don’t avoid them. Be mindful of the following 50 tips and you’ll be able to streamline your life so it's smooth sailing this year.

1. Recycle old papers that are filling up the space in your house. I get this way from time to time, tables or drawers over-loaded with old receipts, junk mail, records, and notes to myself. Sort through it. Organize it and set it free so it can live a reincarnated life elsewhere. 

2. Mentally prepare get ready for change by visualizing your ideal self. Think of someone you admire the most. Imagine that you are them. Would you then choose to be unstoppable and an eternal optimist in life? What do you think about and see for your future? Who do you want to BE in life? See it through your mind's eye so you can take it to the skies!

3. Realize the unexpected can be a good. The Dalai Lama once said, “Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.” Sometimes we don't always know what we want would look like, but the Universe does.

4. Ask people you respect how they created their lives. One of my favorite things to do is reading biographies of people I truly respect and admire. It is another good source of understanding how people overcome the breakdowns in life and still find happiness and success through it all. Truly inspiring!

5. Cut back or cut out alcohol, cigarettes and other vices. Escape mechanisms can be crutches that askew our judgment. Not only can the money saved be turned into vacations or other healthy rewards but it can keep you from getting stopped in life. 

6. Remove negativity from your life, whether it's people or a job you no longer want to do. If you surround yourself with people who bring you down, there’s no need to keep engaging with them out of obligation. Set them free as well as yourself. Who knows, maybe you'll meet up at another time when you both are headed in the same direction

7. Begin your day with a clearly created day along with your cup of morning coffee or tea. Defining what you intend to do in the day along with how you consciously create your experience of it exponentially creates success and keeps you on track. Writing it down allows for focus, memory and a connection that is essential. 

8. Clean your house from top to bottom and throw away anything outdated. A clean, organized space is a clean, organized mind. Our environment effects our emotions, energy and our frame of mind. Besides, you could be breathing excitement into someone's life when you donate your clutter to GoodWill or other charity organizations. Now that's a win-win!

9. Create a clear filing system for your personal records. Clearing up your desktop, creating folders, organizing your computer is one of the best ways to avoid time wasted and empty frustrations when trying to locate your personal records. Set aside just a few minutes a day to donate to this endeavor and you will thank me later. 

10. Do your grocery shopping on a convenient day of the week. If you work M-F then go after work. Leave your weekends open for more important things like what makes you the most happy. Make a list, budget, and get only what you need to save time and money.

11. Take a career test that will help you distinguish your strong points. If you are stuck in your career or job but not sure how to move on, this could be a great way to start opening the door to new, inspiring opportunities. 

12. Work with a life coach to get the most out of life. Nowadays, it’s common for people to have personal workout trainers. Why not invest in all areas of your life so you can achieve maximum results? Many people are struggling with dead weight from the past or emotional baggage that is holding them back. Deal with them and move on with professional assistance such as a life coach. I have perfected a revolutionary manual for life called “The Art of Manifestation System”. It is a air-tight guide that will take you there. www.getyourlifenow.com  for more details or call for your free consultation.

13. Go through cabinets and throw out expired food items. The last time I did this, I found some interesting things. Once gone I felt lighter and it was worth it (plus I could find things I was previously looking for). 

14. Make a clear diet plan with an emphasis on whole grains, fruits and vegetables. A healthy diet plan has a tremendous effect on your overall energy levels, your mood and your state of mind. Did you know that you can get plenty of protein from vegetables? Look at Gorilla's. They are vegan yet stronger than any muscle man. If you do want to continue eating meat, remember the ratio: 80% vegetables, 20% protein. 

15. Add vitamin pills to your daily diet. Vitamin supplements can help reduce the possibility of cancer and osteoporosis, among other disorders. If you are feeling unusually tired or out of sorts and can’t discern the cause, consider taking an inexpensive blood test to take a closer look at the vitamin stores in your body. You would be surprised how many people are missing vitamin B12, vitamin D, and other energy producing vitamins. This can really make a difference! Also, a great energy booster and great detox fast is eating only fruit for 1 day of the week. For best results, food combine, meaning, eat only one kind of fruit in a sitting. If you want to eat a different fruit, wait at least 1 hour before doing so. You skin will definitely glow, you'll have tons of energy and your tummy will shrink. 

 16. Work out a clear exercise plan with an activity that you enjoy such as dancing or biking. I love reading while on the elliptical machine – this way I get to do two things I love at the same time. As long as it’s active, it counts.

17.  Set appointments you’ve been putting off. It’s easy to put off going to the doctor or dentist until we are sick, but preventive care is extremely important in overall health levels. Take care of your health by getting an inexpensive massage at the many newly established foot spas once a week.

 18. Take up a mental exercise. Crossword puzzles, Lumosity, or other word games along these lines are more than just a good way to pass time. They have been shown in studies to help improve overall mental capabilities.

19.Keep a diary. Writing out your thoughts at the end of the day is a good way to unwind and release the day even if you just take 5 focused minutes on this endeavor you’d be pleasantly surprised by the results. Finish off your entry with a list of what you are grateful for. This sets you up for excellent sleep and refreshes you in the morning, setting you up for moving in the right direction in your day. 

20. Make a reading list and join a book club. Most people state that they want to read more, but without an actual plan you may not make the time to do this. Joining a book club not only serves as a social activity but also keeps you up to date with your own reading list. Did you know the benefits of reading are: boosts concentration, exercises spelling, improves knowledge, relaxes you, expands writing skills and enlivens thinking skills, just to name a few things. 

20. Spend time with yourself each day.  Spending quiet time alone gives your mind an opportunity to process and create order.

22. Practice breathing exercises or meditation. Stress can have a debilitating effect on our overall productivity levels. When stressed, I notice I hold my breath. Take the time to take deep breaths and improve oxygen flow to the brain.

23. Speak and act with honesty and integrity. Are you able to stand by what you do and say? If not, it may be time to reexamine your own words and learn to clearly communicate your thoughts in an open, honest way. This helps eliminate mistakes down the road and keeps you empowered.

24. Learn from past mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. It is part of what makes us human. Typically, we make a lot of them during our lifetime. As long as they aren’t repeated too many times, and are looked at and incorporated into our lives as a learning experience, they can be one of the best things that happen to us.

25. Volunteer to help others in your community. Give. Give what you have to give. Advice, love, support, help, time, food, toys, a few dollars, a hug, an ear, a smile, anything. Do it on a daily basis. Look for opportunity and life will not only reward you but your day will sing. Helping others is a rewarding way to get your own life together.

26. Take up a new language or hobby. You will come alive and create an extension of yourself you had not realized that wanted to be born. It's an important part of life. Refrain from looking at hobbies as a luxury but an essential part of a happy, balanced life. 

27. Read books that will contribute something to your life. Anything that expands your world and is uplifting will directly impact your life in a positive way.

28. Talk to a stranger. Spontaneous conversations can be surprisingly inspiring and enlivening.

29. Reconnect with friends and relatives who live far away. Call those people you miss but keep putting off calling. With the Internet, WhatApp, Google Hangout, FaceTime, FaceBook and Skype at your disposal what could possibly be stopping you?

30. Change your toothbrush. It can be filled with bacteria. Take naps or lie down with a meditation. Click here for a free 15 minute Green Meditation. Sleep is often incredibly underrated in its ability to boost energy, mood, and keep reaction times sharp. Drink at least 6 cups of water per day. Staying hydrated helps keep energy levels up and flushes out toxins.

31. Keep commitments scheduled. I am surprised how many people still don't organize their schedules in these busy, modern times. Take it off your mind by scheduling it. No remembering necessary except to look at your calendar. Set alarms to check your schedule or as a reminder to keep your eye on time.

32. Don’t put off difficult conversations. Deal with problems directly and immediately. This will result in a much lower level of anxiety for all involved and give you an opportunity to overcome something you dread turning it into victory and relief. Bonus: you'll get more and more comfortable and effective at communicating. Communication is everything. 

33. Make a list of priorities and do what makes you happy. If you have lost touch with your own priorities lately, it can make a huge difference to take the time to sit and think about what actually makes you happy and then plan it. And then do it.

34. Spend more time outdoors. Nature has an ability to help soothe a troubled mind and clear your thoughts. Taking a walk on the beach, in the woods, or sitting on top of a mountain can clear out the negativities or stress and put everything into perspective. 

35. Attend lectures. This could be any kind of lectures. It’s helpful to keep up-to-date on what’s going on in the world and plan accordingly. Keeping the mind active helps you in all aspects of your daily life.

36. Make laughter a priority. Hang out with some of your most jovial friends for a good dose of laughter, or simply sit back with some favorite old comedies. Laughter counts as exercise and has been shown to not only release stress, see life's challenges in a less significant way, but it also extends your life.

37. Clear some time each day to do nothing. As a child, I remember that we had “free time” scheduled into our school activities every day. This could be used for reading, drawing, or simply staring into space if that’s what we felt like doing. What a novel idea, and one that keeps the brain at ease. 

38. Learn new tips for entertaining and socializing. Throw a great dinner party or get together. Learn how to be a great host or hostess. This can give a big boost to your confidence levels and simply knowing how to introduce people properly helps break the ice and connect people on a deeper level. This leads to many breakthroughs for everyone.

39. Keep texting to a minimum. Text only when there is an urgent message to convey. Something that is not emotion based. When feelings or emotions are involved people tend to misunderstand even the most benign messages. Call or email a well-written message when the message is more than, “I’ll be there at 5:00 pm”.

40. Acknowledge people in your life on a regular basis. Oftentimes we think, “That’s a pretty blouse”, or “I am so happy such and such was made possible by _____” but we don’t say it. People are not mind-readers so even saying the obvious makes a huge difference in people’s lives. Remember, people want only 2 basic things in life: To be “gotten” for who they are and to make a difference in the world.

Acceptance vs. Agreement

                  Knowing the difference makes ALL the difference.

“Some of our greatest successes come from unconditional acceptance of all aspects of life.” ~Sterling Mire

My clients often ask me, “How can I possibly accept something if I don’t like or agree with it?” My answer is simple: Avoid resistance. I’ll explain. The reason why avoiding resistance is the solution to the problem is because what we resist will persist. If we resist what is so in this particular moment we will be giving energy to that which we would like to change. We feed the beast. Stop feeding the beast and that beast will disappear.

I am a fan of Eckhart Tolle. In his bestselling book, “The Power of Now”, he describes acceptance as this. Imagine you fell into quicksand. Your first instinct is to resist it by flailing your arms wildly to get out. The only thing you achieve by resisting is frustration, panic and exhaustion so you end up sinking. If you just accept what is so, “Ok, I just fell into quicksand. I accept that. It is what is so.”, this frees you up to begin to create a way out – and you do! Acceptance is not agreement. I must stress this. Accepting is acknowledging and allowing something to just be. Once we have done just that, then we can began to move into a solution driven direction with ease. Answers to our questions are free to come to us – physically and mentally. We are an open channel for guidance.

Life is fluid. It can occur as if what is happening to us in the moment is permanent. We are stuck and we begin to get resigned in life. If we remind ourselves that it just appears that way BUT is actually is not the truth, it is a step in the right direction for finding the change we seek.

Life is also unpredictable. If we can accept that as part of the beauty in life then we can create the ability to embrace what ever comes along, even if it is painful.

Life will bring many challenges, such as the loss of someone we love, and it is truly challenging to embrace “what is so” when we are suffering. Yet, if we start cultivating acceptance in our lives right now, we will cope with future crises in an empowered way finding the positivity in the situation. It really is a powerfully effective way to live. Begin today to just BE with what is so. Notice how life is different and notice how you respond to undesirable things as they show up and how insignificant and manageable they become. You will be amazed!

WRITTEN BY: STERLING MIRE

What Did I Do?

By Sterling Mire

Many times what people say or do to us has nothing to do with us at all.

Have you ever had the experience where what someone does or says doesn’t seem to jibe with what is actually going on? Yet, we take their behavior personally and make it mean something disempowering about us leaving us confused, hurt and disappointed. It’s helpful to remember: people are more connected to their past experiences versus the experiences they would like to have in their future.  That past can be what just happened 5 minutes prior or as far back as childhood. Taking things personally without taking a moment to think about where they could be coming from takes us off path.

We also have to be responsible for what we do and say. Could what we said or did provoke a particular response? If our intentions are benign but misunderstood, then we can apologize and clarify what we mean to the other person. If they refuse to forgive and hear the value in what we are trying to convey then we can walk away feeling satisfied with the responsibility and the action we took to remedy the situation. We can also see that there is something that person is personally dealing with that may have absolutely nothing to do with us but what they are struggling with in their own life. Be compassionate and loving and move on. We are all dealing with something in life. We are all evolving and being given the opportunity to grow and growth comes from our relationships. If this is a relationship that we are committed to, then we take move on by taking responsibility of our communications and distinguish if there is anything else we can do to help. Sometimes just being clear in our communications is all there is for us to do. We need to just give the other person some space to be with the situation and gain the understanding and clarity within themselves.

When you shift your attention to the bigger picture you may then notice that there was nothing you did that was inappropriate and can choose to not take it personally leaving you free of feeling attacked or blaming yourself for something that didn’t have anything to do with you. It’s up to you to retain your self-worth while knowing you are taking responsibility for your words and actions. This is the best way to live an empowered and satisfying life!

Contributing to the Bigger Picture - Breakdown to Breakthrough

Written by: Sterling Mire

Being of service to others allows us to step outside of our own struggles which can bring answers and pathways to overcome challenges in our own life.

When things aren’t going the way we’d like them to our first instinct is to run and hide, preferably to the nearest dark hole we can find and escape. Sometimes we choose to obsessively think about the problems that face us until we can’t see straight. Yes, there are times when we need to get off the merry-go-round of life and just stop to catch our breath, clear the air, and deal with issues at hand. Other times our best course of action is to be of service to others. Giving ourselves to others not only helps us to gain distance from our own problems but allows us to transform others lives for the better. This creates empowerment and confidence within our world which contributes to finding solutions to our own conflicts. There are two basic human needs being fulfilled: making a difference in the world and being accepted. As a bonus, we also create a connection and bond with others that allows us to feel stronger and more powerful in life.

Helping others creates evidence that we are one and not alone in our quest for support and enlightenment. Even in our darkest hours we can still
contribute to someone else’s struggles and not only make the difference for others but for ourselves as well. It’s a win-win situation and we get to transform who we know ourselves to be.

Make an effort next time you find yourself in a breakdown and fully give of yourself to someone else in need. Notice what happens, what opens up. Notice how your view and perception of life is altered and how you begin to move in a much better direction in your own life.

“We rise by lifting others.”

Time Out For YOU!

Sometimes we just need time to ourselves to regain a balanced sense of ourselves before continuing on our journey called life.

Most of us feel a little imbalanced from time to time. Times of high stress, living in the big city, can make us feel like we are out of whack. We take care so many people, places, things, work and general life obligations we forget about taking care of ourselves. We’ve been taught taking time out is a luxury versus a necessity although science has proven that if we take more time out to just be we would not only be more productive and effective in life but less stressed. We have to draw a line and say “enough is enough”, stop the merry-go-round of life and get off for a while to reflect, let go, rediscover ourselves, and revive ourselves for our future.

I have found a good way of getting in touch with what I truly need at the moment is I imagine having a magic genie in a bottle and that genie asks, “If you could do or be anywhere on this day what or where would it be?”. Maybe the answer that shows up  is laying on the sands of a Caribbean beach, receiving a massage, taking a hike in nature, unplugging for the day and reading a book in a quiet and beautiful place, driving to a place you’ve yet to discover. Let’s say if the answer is the Caribbean but you are living in Los Angeles and you only have a day to yourself then take yourself to the Pacific ocean, perhaps to a stretch of beach you haven’t been to before. If a full-body massage doesn’t fit your budget how about an affordable foot spa or the local nail salon where they offer chair massages? The point is to expand yourself and get in touch with what is missing in your life right now. Balance is key to optimal health.

Ever visited Europe, such as Italy, or any other exotic destination? Have you noticed people seem less stressed? It’s because they are. They work to live, not live to work. Even if you live in the U.S.A. you can still adopt a more European life-style right here, right now.  Your happiness, health, quality of living and productivity depends on it! Create a consistency to taking time out for yourself. Imagine taking 1 very special day a week to yourself or a 2-3 day weekend vacation once a month. You can do it on a budget if need be. Out of 31 days in the month, taking 3-5 days for just yourself is very little and will not negatively alter taking care of business on the other days.

The truth is, taking care of ourselves is not actually a luxury, it is a necessity especially if we want to be our best for our work, our lives and others. I hope you’ve gained perspective from my share. Start now. Plan time in your schedule for yourself as soon as possible. If you are crazy busy at the moment, even more reason to do it now versus later.

Questions? Call for a free consultation.

Do People Really Make Us Happy?

It appears that people can make us feel a range of emotions; happy, sad, angry, frustrated, euphoric, disappointed, depressed and the list goes on. The truth is this is an illusion. We live in a society that has convinced us that happiness lies outside of us, within our environment and through the things we accumulate. Here is a perfect example of how we have learned this way of understanding life’s happiness. A mother sees her young child crying. The mother enthusiastically offers the child a cookie. The child then seeing his/her mother smiling (happy) makes the association with the cookie as an object that possesses happiness. We could take it a bit further and look at how the cookie has an effect on the child’s brain reinforcing the idea of where happiness lies. Let’s look at the effect of the sugar in the cookie. Sugar is known to light up the reward pathways and cause a surge of feel-good hormones, like dopamine, to be released. As a result, we feel good and “happy”. The child easily confuses the cookie, or any other thing the child learns to associate with happiness, as where happiness lies.

People’s Energy DOES Have an Effect On Us

True. We are all energy. We transmit energy. We receive energy. Yet, energy changes all the time so if someone’s happy and we feel the effects of it we begin to associate thatthat is where happiness lies. We begin to confuse, once again, where happiness lives. “That person makes me happy!” or “That person makes me upset”. It may not be that we consciously want to blame or hold someone accountable for our state of being. It could be that we simply are confused as to where happiness truly is.

Taking Responsibility

Taking responsibility for how we feel is one of the most valuable lessons we can learn in life. Choosing how we feel is a conscious action. We must be fully aware to make this choice. Noticing how we feel is the first step. To choose how we want to feel in a way that is authentic and actually works is to first allow what is so to be. To simply allow it to exist. Allowing is not agreeing. Allowing is allowing. Once we allow what is, then we can make a conscious choice to choose how we want to feel. Once you choose an empowering emotion, take a moment to connect to what that feels like. Experience it fully. Maybe think of a happy memory and relive it. Embrace the feeling and let it wash over you and sink in. Then proceed with your life. It is quite simple but where people go wrong in choosing their emotions is leaving out the acceptance, allowing something to be as it is. What is surprising is that whatever undesirable emotion was being experienced will simply take care of itself and disappear.

True Happiness

Happiness is our birthright. Happiness is a skill. Like all skills, it must be practiced. When you have true happiness within, you are totally fulfilled and the things you engage in are not perceived as a pathway to lead you to happiness but an adventure you can embrace fearlessly with joy and out of the sheer excitement of being alive!

To discover more about happiness, I recommend a current documentary on NetFlix simply titled: “Happiness”. Filmmaker Roko Belic travels to more than a dozen countries, searching for the meaning of happiness.

Sterling is a celebrated professional life coach and a nationally published author. She works with clients all over the world. Her practice is located in Beverly Hills. For more information, please visit: www.intuitivelifebysterling.com www.getyourlifenow.com